Bad Romance

After seemingly insurmountable trials and tribulations, the charming prince finally gets his bride. As the sun sets on an impossibly perfect evening, they walk contentedly into the horizon sharing a kiss to what seems to be a happily-ever-after.

Cue crescendo-ing violins before the end credits start rolling.


You mean that's not the end of the story?
At least that's what we're all led to believe. But is that all? Do we actually get our happy ending just like that? Unfortunately our sweet fairy god mother - trying to smoothen things over - never actually tells us the ugly reality of things.

That sweet little dwarf waiting helpfully is just the date she can never get rid of. The seemingly perfect princess just hates sticky forest creatures and simply can't wait to have them roasted/barbecued/sauteed for dinner. And worst of all, that handsome prince peeking over the bower might have the most horrid queen mother waiting behind the scenes, possibly worse than the wicked stepmother left behind.

Why worst of all? You can dump the dwarf. You can roast the deer. But you can't possibly drop-kick his mother off a burning cliff. They're family after all. And you all know family means no one gets left behind.

Even if that someone is a wildly hysterical queen bitch.

Everyone comes with baggage, familial or otherwise. And some aren't as easy to get rid off as knockoff Pradas. So what do you do with clingy in-laws?

Modern-day Miss Independents who don't believe in fairy tales tend to raise their hackles to demand immediate emancipation. Dump the prince, they preach. Who needs him, they say! After all they can easily build their own dream castle out of wood and stone.

Me, I'm a lil bit more of a dreamer. After all fairytale endings don't come without a price. No reason to toss out the prince along with the crazy mother. There are other ways to skin a wildcat after all. Not only would I charm the insane harridan, I'd brew, bubble and boil potions enough to enslave her to my every word. Answer her every mindless whim while smiling like sunshine. Soften my image to appear the martyred Snow White while the enemy appears to everyone else as the abusive stepmother.

In the hopes that the prince - and the rest of the sympathizing castlefolk - would then proceed to burn her at the stake.

But that's me. I like a challenge.


Certainly not advice for the faint-hearted. Of course if the prince is a bit slow on the uptake, I always have my back-up arsenic. Always have a plan B.

And C.