Sunday, January 31, 2010

That Vicious Circle

We never learn.

Just today I listened to the radio and found a young girl playing a prank on her boyfriend - supposedly trying to make him jealous. Never actually saw the sense in that but judging by the shockingly blue streak that spewed from his lips, she succeeded. Took mere seconds for our bad boy to go ballistic. Washing the thug's dirty mouth with soap wouldn't have sufficed since I'm sure only heavy-duty carbolic acid would do the trick. And all the time he threatened bloody violence, the silly filly just giggled possibly thinkng that her threatening brute of a boyfriend was so the man.

Seriously. Is this barbaric throwback to the Neanderthals what girls really, really want? Call me back when you're bruised, battered and beaten in a women's shelter.

Are we all doomed to repeat the same mistakes? Reminds me of a friend all eager to introduce her new beau - after going through a recent bitter separation. One would expect that she's learnt her lesson.

So when will the next hit come?

I was wrong. Whispery Wilhelmina came in with ... what we have termed a clone of her jerkoff husband. Seriously. It was like her brutish husband revisited. I had to rub my eyes twice to make damned sure I wasn't encountering deja vu.

The minute she took a seat, it was like the start of the Belittle Wilhelmina Game with Jerkoff Joe as the outstanding contestant. I didn't even have to ring the bell for the games to start.

Joe : You gonna eat that? It must contain a thousand calories.
Wilhelmina : *giggle* Sorry. Of course not.
Joe : And you still have all that baby fat.
Wilhelmina : Yeah, I'm working hard at it.
Joe : Obviously not enough. God, you're sloppy. Wear a bib, would you?

Had to stop myself from joining in the mean fun.

Look, Wilhelmina has her faults, I know - but we love her, warts and all. Though the temptation to shake her does come occasionally. So question for Jerkoff Joe - if you actually see that many fatal flaws, why are you dating her? Go find some other stick-thin anorexic bleached-blond then.

Worst of all, Wilhelmina doesn't see it. Blinded by love ( and black magic? ) the man can do no wrong. The unprepossessing Joe is playing all the same cards as her ex husband did - and yet again she seems to be falling hopelessly for the same pack of lies. Poor Wilhelmina. Near Pavlovian, she sees scumbags and drools in response. A scrub magnet no doubt trapped in some Freudian love game, doomed to love dominating bastards in a two-hundred-mile radius.

Yeah, I know I'm harsh. But I feel like shaking her hard. Didn't I listen to a litany of complaints about a jerkoff husband? And now she's back with his twin? Scumbag Version 2.0?

Maybe some serious aversion therapy would work. Electrocution?


William said...

One day, those radio station pranks are gonna cause real damage to relationships.

ShAKirA CHOONG said...

Playing pranks on relationships are just plain childish and STUPID!
You have a good week now.

Janvier said...

We never really liked their method of pranking, it makes people angry!

Mikey said...

About Wilhelmina, (and other ppl who share her fate, moi sometimes included), i guess we're suckers for pain and heartbreak and all sorts of disappointment in life. Not that we actively choose it, but its a pattern yet to be broken. One day, we'll suddenly wake up, scold ourselves for being a blithering idiot, and move on with our life. But until that day comes, nobody can do anything. Electrocution? Ouch..static electricity can be painful enough already.

Anyway about the radio shows, just write a letter to the ministry of communication and highlight this issue. They're probably wanting to follow MTV's Pranked, but to a lesser success :P Thank goodness for FM transmitters - i listen to my music while driving now.

Bengbeng said...

Just dropping by to see how u r coping with life here :)

The Spin Doctor said...

It is such a long time since ive last stepped into the sphere. And there you go - keeping the world posted with satirical thoughts of your own. Im rather impressed! (eh..forgotten what i always call you)

savante said...

That relationship is always unstable enough, william :) It stands at the edge of a precipice!

That's true, Shakira and Janvier.

Wake up faster! That's what I'd like to tell her, mikey. But yeah I understand it takes time and no one can force it. Frustrating though.

Hi beng beng!

A long time coming! What have you been up to, spin doctor?


Bengbeng said...

Managed to get leave to go home for the CNY? Anyway happy season greetings