Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Ironman

I think Charming Calvin's having an affair.

Don't know if I have the rights to turn all green-eyed over such an unorthodox relationship! Sure, my rival's hard as steel, smooth as velvet and hot as hell - reason enough that he manages to steamroll easily over the rest of his creased, crumped contenders. But I think he could come unplugged quite easily under the right circumstances.

In fact I'm certain I could take down Calvin's damned iron quite easily.

I hope.

Unless it's steaming hot.

Christian
Time to iron?

Judging by how unnaturally attached Calvin is to his precious iron, I find myself just a little perturbed. An hour a day specially set aside just to share the company of his precious iron? Satin pillows and a special bed of crumpled silk placed aside just for his precious iron? Sharing secrets and whispering sweet nothings into the steam pores of his precious iron?

Seriously I think Calvin gets an unholy orgasmic thrill just from finding out the latest developments in steam irons! Wouldn't be surprised to learn that he subscribes regularly to Irons-R-Us desperately reading reviews from other enthusiasts on which particular brand provides multiple heat settings, superior steam output and seamless non-stick soleplate glide. Not to mention receive tips on the perfect crease.

As obsessed as he is, at any moment I expect to find him leaving work to join extreme ironing.

Robert Downey
Stop! I'm Ironman!

Still not sure what Calvin thinks about while ironing! Maybe he reaches a spiritual level of zen only concentrated ironing can attain. Or perhaps while achieving the perfect crease, Calvin imagines his enemies being crushed under his relentless steam iron. Perhaps it even stirs echoes of a long forgotten past as an indentured servant slaving away in the washhouse with a stinging charcoal iron. Possibly dreaming of a modern coin-operated laundromat or a newer, simpler ( and much less painful ) invention like the steam iron.

So you can imagine the first ( and only! ) item he unpacked when his packing boxes finally arrived from China!

And I'm not even talking about his concubine the blow-dryer yet.

15 comments:

Jason said...

oh my.. the iron and the blow dryer.. what man can live without it?! hahaha

Jaded Jeremy said...

Does he want to spend more time with his iron? I can pass him my clothes for ironing ;-0

Jason said...

Right now..i cant live without blow dryer..lol

Elliot T. McBeal said...

I salute thee for the ability to produce a post from electrical appliances :D

Legolas said...

If I had a maid, I'll not stand anywhere near the iron, I swear.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha.... Calvin is like my dad. Ironing for my dad is like relaxation, he'd turn on the music and iron for hours. While I, his daughter, am a stranger with iron.

Mr.D said...

Yes i need some ironing to be done too. :P

Janvier said...

When we stay out next time we can give Calvin more excuse to spend time with Mr Iron.

.:: Ant ::. said...

Charming's into S&M?

+Ant+

Perky said...

I hate ironing. So can I send my clothes over to him?

Chris said...

I DUN like ironmen! not nice..

Quentin X said...

OMG! Nothing could be more mundane than ironing. I'm all for that shabby street look these days. I hate that formal starched up look.

MrBunnyBan said...

I'm telling you, the iron is his true 'precious'!

Diran said...

i agree...like the iron rhythm.i think his iron must be quite strong and steamy.wont i let to be rolled over by it..

Diran said...

i do wonder whther there are any gays in penang...?