Wedding Plans

'Tis spring. And as the saying goes, 'tis the season when a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love! But over here, spring showers seem to bring about a spate of weddings instead.

At least in my book.

Turns out that wedding banquets multiply exponentially when you have a mother ( with dozens of events on her social calendar! ) to squire around. Ah, the duties of a gay son. So when my mother mentioned a March wedding, I steeled myself to endure another night of rudely stuffing my mouth full of artichokes to keep myself out of the dull dinner conversation.

Even so that's not an entirely fool-proof method.

Of course this time my mother blindsided me by sending my suit to the drycleaners without giving fair warning. And you so know how much I hate being dressed inappropriately for a formal! Which left me grumpy enough that my conversation seemed to consist only of grunts and harrumphs.

Wasn't trying to be rude all the time though. Part of the time I was too busy checking out the other male guests to bother with incessant questions. When the bride's a prominent lawyer, her guest list seems to consist entirely of hunks in delicious suits. What can I say about men in suits? :) Certainly gave me something else to chew on.


Don't I just look good enough to eat!
Didn't chew on any beef though. Talk of weddings and engagements only reminds me of my own personal commitment so I could only look - instead of chatting the fellas up like I used to. :)

Shying away from the dinner conversation also gives me the time to check out the wedding planning. Learning from the tragic mistakes of others and taking tips from what they did well.

Notes I took down from last night include not doing the obligatory champagne cork popping ( eeeew! ) to arranging for a real 4-tiered wedding cake instead of a fake set. Hiring a jazz crooner for the wedding singer instead of replaying endless sentimental hits from the 80s! Tying up overbearing karaoke-inclined relatives before they can make a nuisance of themselves! Leaving out the entire dull montage of childhood memories that would only appeal to those who don't already know the bride and groom ( unless I can find an aspiring filmmaker to tszuj the event up )!

And definitely writing a heartfelt speech that would leave the assembled guests all misty-eyed. Maybe even a couple bawling into their sharksfin soup.



Of course in the midst of all that heady planning, I messaged my sister-in-law. Turns out she does want to coordinate my wedding. Who knew. So even if the rest of the family flees in abject horror from the stigma of a gay wedding, at least I do have a couple of guests I can count on.

'Tis spring. Guess it does make us think of weddings!