Somehow I managed to survive an entire evening with Lady Borgia - Charming Calvin's vengeful matriarch! - without suffering any major physical or mental infirmity. Despite the fact that she must have gleaned from our easy intimacy that we are significantly more than friends, she has remained surprisingly serene about it all. No sign of the homophobic pitchfork-wielding termagant she was before.
Hell these days she could easily pass for a PFLAG mom.
Lulled into complacency, Calvin has accepted it at face value though I have my reservations.
Skeptical son-in-law that I am, I immediately suspected something afoot when Lady Borgia decided to make another unexpected appearance on the scene. Just a simple unplanned visit? I think not. Close to perjuring myself making implausible excuses just to avoid paying attendance to his mother - but after several intense discussions with my colleagues, I finally braced myself to face the inevitable.
So what has she planned now?
Like the last time, Lady Borgia turned out to be cordial to the extreme. Dinner was an uncomplicated civil affair, surprisingly short of flying silverware, weeping hysterics and death threats. Seems like murder wasn't on the menu.
Could you tell I was a tad disappointed?
Of course part of the reason could be the severe communication barrier - because I barely understood her! While Lady Borgia spoke fluently in Mandarin and Hakka, I could only hobble through the remains of the stilted conversation in broken pidgin Chinese. So obviously certain parts were lost in translation.
Paul : Is she enjoying dinner?
Lady Borgia : 儿子，他在说啥？ 他是不是要用这些油腻，高胆固醇的肥猪肉来毒害我？( What is the depraved pervert saying, my son? Is he threatening to poison me with this disgusting slice of oily, cholesterol-laden lard? )
Calvin : 不是的，妈。 ( No, mother. )
Paul : What did she say?
Calvin : She is on a diet.
Hmmm. I have my suspicions.
Kidding aside, I think she's just a simple, conservative lady a bit out of her depth when it comes to wildly controversial taboo issues such as homosexuality - even more confused when it involves her son. And now with her son's so-called partner in the picture, things are getting ever more complicated and Lady Borgia's still trying her best to adjust.
At least that's what I got from my reading of her.
Unless she's putting up a clever front to fool me into letting down my guard.
Hmmm.
7 comments:
Were you really expecting Lady Borgia to actually do all that?
I think she already loves you, as with her son.
p/s: I wonder who typed the Chinese characters? ;p
have faith, dear Paul. Eventually it will all fall into the right places given time. Let's root for her for the PFLAG President and then bring her to meet Alex's mom!
Or I have an even better suggestion, get all our moms including Felix's Jehovah Witness' mom for a tea party!
and this tea party should be host by non other than Bree Van de Kamp!
Hohoho... we must all go meet her! :P
No expectations, Paul :)
Yeha, right. As long as she doesn't order a hit on me, lil dove. And who else would type the Chinese?
What a scary thought. Imagine the evil they could concoct together, nase.
Bree would flee, JD. Especially since she's quite tolerant of gay men these days.
Yes, you should, Ban.
P
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