Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

What's the first thing any sane parent would do once confronted with their son's confession that he's gay?

Hysterical homophobic rants with threats of physical abuse? Well... fortunately not in all homes. Actually the best parents usually shift the blame to themselves first before pointing crazed accusations. Really. Whenever someone comes out, there's always the usual hue and cry before the prerequisite self-blame for the unimaginable fact.

Son : Mom, I'm gay.
Mom : OMFG. What did I do! Was it my cooking?

Seriously mom, you didn't do anything. But if you did, hell, you'd only have yourself to blame, right?

Not sure how they actually come up with that particularly erroneous conclusion but perhaps it has something to do with the nature versus nurture argument. Obviously most parents still have the archaic idea that homosexuality is a learned trait. Like we could actually teach cute boys to turn gay.

Chris Evans
Could you teach me, kind sir?

Wouldn't Chris Evans be gay then?

Scratching my head trying to think of a particularly traumatic incident in my past that could have turned me gay. Mommy kissing Santa Claus? Cross-dressing perhaps? That inadvertent day-shopping trip? The absence of a father?

Nah, I didn't have all that.

Living Dolls
Ken says hi to GI Joe.

I however had a Ken doll. Seriously. Not sure what possessed me at the primary school age to demand that sorta toy ( but the fact that my neighbour had dolls aplenty could be a factor - after all I needed at least a token to join in the masak masak games ). So yeah I did have a doll. A Doctor Ken doll with a white satin ( satin?! )doctor's jacket that flips around to become a tux. Didn't even dignify the doll by calling it an action figure.

After all, Ken didn't get all that much action.

Unless Gi Joe dropped by.

So yeah, mom, the doll made me gay.

Or a doctor. I haven't decided which.

16 comments:

Cyclohelix said...

Going to get my mum something different this year :)

Prash said...

First of all, the guy in the pic is really hot ~

Those mothers who think that it is their fault is mainly because they consider being "gay " is "feminine" and hence, they blame themself that they educated you with more feminine side and less masculine (and will blame the father as they didn't give enough)...

joshua said...

Nature or Nurture?

The endless debate.

Anonymous said...

at last...another one who had a Ken doll...I thought I was the only one...

- a passer by & avid reader

Icedukey :D

Alice said...

i cant help but to laugh out loud. . !

Anonymous said...

Son : Mom, I'm gay.
Mom : OMFG. What did I do! Was it my cooking?


I nearly fell out of my chair reading that. LOL, seriously LOL.

.:: Ant ::. said...

The pic of Ken and GI .... really put a big smile on my face. ^_^

+Ant+

Medie007 said...

am going to bring home a girl the next time i'm back so they'll stop asking.

and after that i'll just say i'm traumatised with dating.

:P

AJ v2 said...

u play masak masak back then?? hahahha (me too....but i think we all do...hiks!!)

anyway, i wanted barbie so badly but my mom bought me a cheaper gurl doll which is hideous...and the eyes looked like chucky.

and one time i swear to GOD i saw it wink at me....sooo terrified i throw the doll into the drain =)

Perky said...

OMG Chris Evans... *drool* I love u gay ppl but if Chris is gay, it's the end of the world as I know it ;)

Paul Figaro J said...

Chris will never be a gay.......wake up dude!

mstpbound said...

awww this was so cute! :)

jamie da vinci! said...

never had a ken doll... wanted to get he-man action figures like my older bro but mom said we should just share. she curiously said yes though when i asked for she-ra.

i'm pretty sure she went into the bathroom and started knocking her head on the wall when i came out to her :)

enjoyed this post very much paul. :)

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

This post is really cute. Also...if my child turns out gay, I would totally have no issues with that. As long as if my kid is a girl, she better not be butch. A lipstick lesbian in much more prefertable.

I know...I know...damn sexist.

H.a.M.s.A.p said...

OMGAwd, Ken dolls O_O

Fable Frog said...

hahaha the cooking made us gay! :P