Sunday, January 22, 2006

Appreciating life

Once in a while - just like yesterday at work - I do get the question on how I appear so peppy and lighthearted when I'm practically dealing with depressing death situations on a daily basis. Of course I laughingly replied that I'm actually on a cocktail of mildly hallucinatory drugs.

Truthfully though, seeing death on a daily basis actually makes me appreciate lfe even more. They say seeing your first death as an intern changes you and it's really true. It has taught me several things actually - seriously patients do teach us quite a lot in fact.

For one, I do appreciate family more - and I do treasure the time I spend with my family. My future boyfriend had better be prepared for this but family actually does come first for me - career takes a seriously sad second or perhaps third place. Simply put, I've never had a dying patient who actually thought of spending time in his office with his books at his deathbed. :) At the end, almost everyone wishes to have more time with their loved ones - and surely no one wants to die alone and friendless in an icy cold intensive care room as the medical staff rush about with their defibrillators.

It also gives you an appreciation of the time that we have on our hands. We do rush through the hours sometimes, struggling so hard to achieve our goals that we sometimes miss the little things. Most of us work in the hectic ratrace hoping to save enough for some far flung future of tropical islands and sexy cabana boys - never actually knowing that those rosy dreams could be dashed away by a runaway schoolbus with a faulty brake as we cross the street - or as recent events show, a homicidal shrapnel from a pipe bomb. So really, it's actually okay to stop and smell the roses every once in a while. One of the reasons I do take the occasional break to do absolutely nothing except stare at the sky just happy to be alive.

Chris Evans
Me perfect?! Do you see that tiny pimple on my perfect drum-tight ass?

Despite how shallow and superficial I might appear on certain posts :) I do know that looks aren't necessarily all that important. Even for myself. After seeing someone struggle with an atrophied limb dangling like a useless appendage, you realize that it's actually okay to be hideous homely. I'm certainly no Chris Evans ( hell. I'm not even in the same subspecies ) but at least I am somewhat hale and hearty, barring the occasional debilitating laryngitis... which is certainly not as bad as losing a limb after having a hungry machine munch unhesitatingly on your wriggling hands or having your skull crushed like so much cheap melon by a runaway lorry.

Good grief. I just realized that this has turned out to be a remarkably gory post.

15 comments:

MrBunnyBan said...

Some doctors go the other extreme in view of their mortality - going all out get the most pleasure out of life while they still can, no matter whoever they step on along the way. That's one I knew, anyway.

Anonymous said...

I have to ask, maybe I missed it in an earlier post. Is your family accepting of your gayness? So the question is, would your family be accepting of your future boyfriend? I wish you all the luck and I get the feeling that BBB just might be the man for you.

Dax

hrugaar said...

Yes, you have to balance how far you can sacrifice today for a tomorrow that you may or may not see ... it being unwise to ignore either one completely.

Petie said...

Remembered your own lesson the next times you meet BBB ;) Perhaps enlighten him with a slice of your wisdom on his subject and ask him what does he think of you? :)

Anonymous said...

i once handled a patient that suffered 3rd degree burns on his entire body. he has been in the hospital for almost a year and has gone through countless surgeries. throughout the time i handled him, he was always bandaged from the chest down. but despite his condition, i still found it quite amazing how positive his outlook was. the clinic was always in a cheerful mood whenever he was around. patients teach us a lot about life and how to handle adversities, most of the time, they dont even realize it.

Anonymous said...

I recently survived a brain hemorrhage and cheated death. It has totally changed my outlook on life. I thought I appreciated life before, since I worked in the cancer and HIV fields, but I didn't. My whole family rushed to my bedside in the hospital, which really meant something to me. I am fine now. Thing is, that all that I had could have ended, just like that. You are so right about family being what matters. Great post, Paul.

Anonymous said...

I had motorbike accident before n broke my right leg. Then 2 years ago, a week before Raya, again another motorbike accident..thought nothing major..but my mum cried out loud..n insisted me to buy a car.

Last year, again, another accident n managed to rapture my left shoulder..

Maybe I was to stubborn n never really take a note bout it till one day my mate told me...

"it is not worth to sacrifice your life riding so fast just to attend the step class. It will be such a waste for your parent who given you a great life for you to end it up on a road. If you can't see that, I will be totally dissapointed with you."

Nah...now me a bit wiser. Riding my bu bu scooter at 60km per hour.

Nothing wrong revealing the other side of your. N a tumb up for such a moving post ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if you believe in God or not but it's worthwhile to say a little prayer every morning to show gratitude and humilty. As you so rightly put, life is so unpredictable.

Thanks for the excellent piece here! This piece will definitely put things into prespective for some of us and may even encourage us to reflect the goodness of things around us.

savante said...

Daniel, all I gotta say is OUCH. :)

Dax.. many questions! Not sure if my family is accepting so I can't answer that yet - ditto for the future boyfriend question.

Ru, it is important to sacrifice for tomorrow too - but it doesn't mean not having at least some time to smell the roses.

Will need a lot of alcohol in me to ask such a question, Pete, and really does it matter all that much when he's proven to be a good friend?

Designdoc, you are right. Patients do have a lot to teach us.

Sue, I am stunned speechless. But I'm glad your family rallied around you.

Depressing, isn't it, Chas?

Pakcik! Dump the scooter and get a tough car! Uhh.. bodystep classes too?

Thanks, Ian. Glad you liked the introspective post.

Paul

Anonymous said...

Great read. But I wish I had time to think like that. But you see, my dream is to get killed by work just like every corporate slave here in Japan, I don't think i am even allowed to have that kind of thought. oh, I am so brain washed....

Petie said...

Depends on whether BBB will be just a good friend or not :)

Hopefully that by hanging out with him will not ruined your chance to fall in love with another man because of your feelings for BBB.

Anonymous said...

Paul..

I got a bicycle, scooter n a car nowadays..;)

Bodystep? is it the same as advance step? cause I only do the latter one ;) + bodypump only.

Jay said...

Erm, so how many people have died on your operating table exactly?

Just curious.

savante said...

Dream is to get killed by work :O

Pete, gonna explain to any man interested in me that Barry's still my friend - and nothing more.

Bicycle, scooter and car. Pakcik, you are a man of means :)

Jay, I can't tell you the number. If I did, I'd have to kill ya too :)

Paul

jjd said...

I'd say you have a very balanced and healthy outlook, but really, that shouldn't come as a surprise and is what I knew already.