Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Beauty of Pork

I'm obsessive with pork sometimes.

You can blame that on Charming Calvin. His legendary appraisal and sonnets to the beauty of pork should already be bound into a meat bible for sure. No doubt a mission that would terrify our kosher friend, Lickable Luke.

So Luke, you'd better look away from this pork-laced heresy!

But I digress. Back to the meat. So this afternoon I actually met up with Beercan Boy and his missus Damsel Dimwit for lunch.

Well not exactly his missus but close. At least she hasn't dumped him for something better as we predicted. Sometimes miracles really do happen.

Sunshine
Time for some pork?

Since the fastidious Damsel claimed to be suffering from serious hunger pangs, we gave her the pick and she chose - surprisingly - an orgiastic meat feast. Shocked me even more when she ordered a whole thick slab of pig flesh. Certainly gave me a better opinion of the gal since I always imagined she survived by munching on dew-moistened alfalfa sprouts as a source of energy.

Then she sacrificed half her hog.

Paul : Is it too tough?
Damsel : No, it tastes good.
Paul : You just sliced three quarters away.
Damsel : Oh I can't take that. It's fatty. And that oil. Urgh.
Paul : It's pork.
Damsel : Ooh but it's so fatty.
Paul : That's the point. The beauty of pork is that thick gelatinous layer of cholesterol-laden fat dripping with oil.

I think she almost choked.

I know I shouldn't be this mean to the simple forest animals but I can't help it sometimes. At least I didn't give in to my sadistic urge to stuff the slice of pork into her mouth.

Seriously. Why order pork then? Stick to green grass and lean chicken, ya anorexic socialite! Taking the pork but hating the fat? That's kinda like undecided folks who whine over low-fat ice-cream and decaffeinated coffee. What's up with that? You wanna sin, you take the entire blazing pathway to hell dammit.

The pig died for you. Show some respect!

Of course our Beercan Boy was too busy forcefeeding himself at the trough to offer an opinion.

11 comments:

Queen B said...

alfafa sprouts??

we prefer ceasar salad~ ;)

on the pork, we don't eat them....we carry them leather goods made from the skin)!

Tanglebloom said...

OMG! Who is the hottie in the pic?

cYiD said...

lol...

it may have been craving i guess...
sometimes, i crave for pastries...
buy about 6 and give 4 to my housemates...
can't stuff them all in!
hehehehe~

but yeah...
if she didn't want all the fat...
should have settled for something else!
but that shows how some peeps are...

(you should have stuffed her! lol)

Cheryl said...

the beauty of the pork is the fat trap in between the meat... making the meat more tender... how i wish i could take... AGAIN ! But haiz....

Perky said...

I hear ya on that! Do not waste when it comes to good food ;)

Chris said...

i like pork... :P

cleo weiland said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cleo weiland said...

Ahh the joys of eating sinfully. Unfortunately I was given the STOP sign from my doctor, who unceremoniously announced that I have high cholesterol for someone my age. But who can resist temptation? The only thing I can do to get around it is to have smaller portions. Better than nothing!

Btw, never tasted pork. Closest I ever got to it was vegetarian char siew! Haha!

3quarks said...

i like pork too.. hmm yummy! (but i'm tying to be on the healthy side so seldom eat that kind of stuff now:)

Evann said...

LOL pork fat is something I secretly slip into my mouth when noone's watching... :P

The fat doesn't count if noone catches me eating it! ...Oh how I lie to myself sometimes. LOL

That guy in the pic is so hot he's making the fat sizzle in my tummy.... xD

Life for Beginners said...

Haha, what an apt topic for a post! My foodblogger buddies and I are always yakking about where to get the best pork, and eventually got around setting up a website for pork-lovers here: The Babitarian.

Yup, you read it right the first time. The Babitarian. Hehe.

Btw, this line got me laughing ever so hard:

"The pig died for you. Show some respect!"