Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Make a Push

Are you a Pusher or a Mover?

That's the question Chris Evans would like to ask - if he wasn't already too busy avoiding screaming triad gangsters, lollipop-sucking bitches and shady military-sponsored psychics in the crowded back alleys of Hong Kong.

Sunshine
Ooh, look at what I can do with my shirt on!

Comicbook superheroes seem to be crawling all over the silver screen these days and in the movie Push, psychics seem to be the focus. Runaway psychics that is - trying to escape from the clutches of a shadowy quasi-governmental organisation called Division. These psychic abilities are rooted in Nazi experiments to transform humans into biological weapons, and the movie is chock-full of clairvoyants, mind controllers and telekinetics.

Cue Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning as the runaways.

Obviously the self-sabotaging producers didn't expect anyone to see the movie since they didn't spend a dime on the promotional poster or the trailers. Seriously lame. Really.

Obviously with my expectations set so shockingly low, I actually found the movie surprisingly good. A solid movie though it smacks more of an extended generic television scifi drama rather than a summer blockbuster film. Think two hours of an overly complex Heroes with the prerequisite cliffhanger at the end. Of course having hunky Chris Evans on board as a resident telekinetic helped some - though he remained unsatisfyingly fully clothed almost throughout.

And can I say I love Dakota Fanning as the cynical clairvoyant ( with a bad dye job ) who simply knows they are both gonna die.


Of course I came to realize that I'd never make it in a superhero movie since I'd be undoubtedly cast as a cackling villain rubbing his hands with glee. Not only would I want to be a telepath / telekinetic, I'd probably nudge some dirrrty memories of us canoodling into Chris Evans' handsome head and make him believe we were torrid lovers.

And then move that wimpy ne'er-do-well girlfriend of his off the edge of a cliff.

And that's all after using my telekinetic powers for evil gains at the nearest roulette table.

Villain for sure.

But seriously. Which anti-beefcake publicist actually told Chris Evans to keep his shirt on in the movie? Idiotic bitch. Some fellas should be half-naked all the time. Obviously this deluded agent believes that he needs to keep his good looks camouflaged by an ever-present stubble and a grungy tee. Recommending his shirt stays on is tantamount to heresy!

Now that lady I'd push off a cliff as well.

6 comments:

cYiD said...

i think doctors do tend to suit the role of a villain better!
hahahahaha
goody2 face with our white coats during the day...
shades, silhoutte black coats and creeping in the darkness by night!
muahahahahahahahaha

(madness of a medical student avoiding revision)

bluesoule said...

i think the movie pales in comparison to other heroes series. And the worst part is chris evans shows too little too short lolz..

Queen B said...

the trailer is damn cool!

we will make time to see this~

Anonymous said...

ooo...telekinesis. I can think of many things to do with that ability...handless hand job anyone?

Perky said...

I will watch any movie that has Chris Evans in it! :) With or without clothes, he's still yummy to look at :)~

savante said...

Totally agree, cYiD! There's even a character called Doctor Midnite! Go check that out.

More focus on his abs, you mean bluesoule? :)

Don't expect too much, B!

That is a really kewl idea. But why not plant the idea in someone's mind and let him do it for you, anon?

No argument there but wish he'd just change his bloodstained tee, perky. It's Hong Kong. Tees are cheap and available everywhere!

P