Till Pork Do Us Part

Warning : A thousand apologies to all those whose delicate sensibilities might be offended by the matter ahead.

Since I had taken off from work - and Charming Calvin had pleaded desperate illness to get the day off ( poor boy was coughing away ) , we managed to share an early breakfast. Calvin's usually the quiet, unobtrusive sort who refrains from making sudden inflammatory comments but today during our impromptu breakfast, he blurted out a surprising pearl of wisdom.

Share pork with someone you love.

Stared at him in consternation for at least ten seconds before I was able to digest what he said. Assumed he was joking since there was that glint of quiet humour in his eyes but it could just be the light refracting from the shiny teacups.

Seriously. I have no idea what came over his mind while he was saying that. Perhaps it's an old ancient Chinese idiom that cropped up during the Period of Six Squabbling Nations and Dirty Autumn when the King of Wei made nefarious plans to infiltrate the lair of the Hui, the hunky butcher. Or perhaps it was the amount of cholesterol-laden pig lard ( aka dim sum ) that was percolating around in Calvin's veins that clogged up the functions of his poor brain :)

Still it got me thinking about certain relationships that had fizzled out due to certain warring ideologies or differing cultures - and believe it or not, even pork-eating habits. Don't get me wrong. I love my delicious pork ribs but I'm certainly not gonna dump Brandon Routh if he told me he's strict vegetarian. Come on, we're not talking about total opposites such as a hyperactive, gun-toting redneck with a penchant for Metallica and burning the tails of dead cats and a peace-loving, plant-loving Brahmin who worships Enya - and even then I'm sure they can work out some sort of truce.

It's just food, people.


You'd dump me because I don't take pork?
Food taboos certainly don't faze me. After all, I've gone through my own particularly idiotic potato / yam phase so I do understand that all of us have our own idiosyncrasies ( and for some of us, strict religious don'ts that forbid certain foods ). Although I adore crabs, shells and prawns ( despite a patent disability when it comes to dismantling the parts ), Charming Calvin has a serious, inexplicable aversion to seafood but that certainly doesn't mean I'm gonna dump him by the wayside just because he can't get it on with a crab claw. After all, I certainly didn't run screaming when Big Bicep Barry produced his sickly green alfalfa-cucumber-rawegg protein crap ( although I did feel a mite nauseous ) and that had to be the worst ever.

Although I'm certain there are certain habits that I'd find damnably irritating and near impossible to live with ( such as a tittering crystal-breaking cackle for a laugh ), I hope that I'm tolerant enough to accept certain sociocultural habits and practices that have been ingrained into my future partner.

Or at least grit my teeth and hold my tongue :P