Thursday, September 28, 2006

Till Pork Do Us Part

Warning : A thousand apologies to all those whose delicate sensibilities might be offended by the matter ahead.

Since I had taken off from work - and Charming Calvin had pleaded desperate illness to get the day off ( poor boy was coughing away ) , we managed to share an early breakfast. Calvin's usually the quiet, unobtrusive sort who refrains from making sudden inflammatory comments but today during our impromptu breakfast, he blurted out a surprising pearl of wisdom.

Share pork with someone you love.

Stared at him in consternation for at least ten seconds before I was able to digest what he said. Assumed he was joking since there was that glint of quiet humour in his eyes but it could just be the light refracting from the shiny teacups.

Seriously. I have no idea what came over his mind while he was saying that. Perhaps it's an old ancient Chinese idiom that cropped up during the Period of Six Squabbling Nations and Dirty Autumn when the King of Wei made nefarious plans to infiltrate the lair of the Hui, the hunky butcher. Or perhaps it was the amount of cholesterol-laden pig lard ( aka dim sum ) that was percolating around in Calvin's veins that clogged up the functions of his poor brain :)

Still it got me thinking about certain relationships that had fizzled out due to certain warring ideologies or differing cultures - and believe it or not, even pork-eating habits. Don't get me wrong. I love my delicious pork ribs but I'm certainly not gonna dump Brandon Routh if he told me he's strict vegetarian. Come on, we're not talking about total opposites such as a hyperactive, gun-toting redneck with a penchant for Metallica and burning the tails of dead cats and a peace-loving, plant-loving Brahmin who worships Enya - and even then I'm sure they can work out some sort of truce.

It's just food, people.

You'd dump me because I don't take pork?

Food taboos certainly don't faze me. After all, I've gone through my own particularly idiotic potato / yam phase so I do understand that all of us have our own idiosyncrasies ( and for some of us, strict religious don'ts that forbid certain foods ). Although I adore crabs, shells and prawns ( despite a patent disability when it comes to dismantling the parts ), Charming Calvin has a serious, inexplicable aversion to seafood but that certainly doesn't mean I'm gonna dump him by the wayside just because he can't get it on with a crab claw. After all, I certainly didn't run screaming when Big Bicep Barry produced his sickly green alfalfa-cucumber-rawegg protein crap ( although I did feel a mite nauseous ) and that had to be the worst ever.

Although I'm certain there are certain habits that I'd find damnably irritating and near impossible to live with ( such as a tittering crystal-breaking cackle for a laugh ), I hope that I'm tolerant enough to accept certain sociocultural habits and practices that have been ingrained into my future partner.

Or at least grit my teeth and hold my tongue :P


quirkycyclops said...

'future partner'? hmm.....

Steven said...

He loves you like he loves pork?

That's so romantic...

R*Y A N said...

paul, surely you didn't miss it.

he said "share pork with someone you LOVE".

somewhat subtle but conspicuous nonetheless. an invitation for a long-term partnership?

could calvin be the... shock, horror... the one? the guy? the pork-loving partner?!?!? ;P

theorientalpoet said...

If my bf said that, I'd squeal with delight.

No oink about it, this could probably be the start of something all out pork fest, perhaps.

Pass the ham please....

Anonymous said...

I love pork !!! Hehe....

Emily said...

He, you are a patient man... I discovered I needed someone who was at least willing to TRY anything.

But food is love! As is, maybe, understanding we don't all love the same food? HmmmM.

Did Pork solve his illness? Good dim sum does have magical properties!

QuaVadis said...


As what r*yan said, he was leaving a hint there, not talking about aversion to pork and not for you to get yourself into the philosophy of the statement..he's saying he loves you? that a shocker or what!! hahahahahaha

Annie said...

I could have sworn it was "Till Death Do Us Part" - We should get there soon if he keeps eating my cooking. ;D

Speaking of pork, I like the deep-fried breaded cutlet of pork I believe they call it Katsudon in Japan. Yum.


didn't know pork would be such interesting blog conversation!

_ethnwg said...

i love my pork!

i cannot imagine my wan tan mee w/ chicken or bak kut teh minus the pork. eek

it's a luxury to eat pork these days, really. i guess tat's y cc wanted u to share ur pork..gee tat sounds dirrty :p

snowdrop said...

pork is GOOD :)

nyonyapenang said...

ahhh.... just a plateful of cut siew yoke; one for you and one for me.....yum, yum, yummmm......
soooo.....lomantic ya? ;)

Anonymous said...

Differing food choices will not be a deal-breaker for me. Though a love of pork intestines and blood cakes will make me love him a little less each time.

Musang said...

maybe he said that as a subtle way of suggesting he wants some porking before work. :) that calvin is romantic laa.

but the most shocking fact here is... the alfalfa-cucumber-rawegg protein thing is existed?!

*amaze at how barry stands it. he must be very tough*

Jay said...

Much as I'd love to be open-minded about such things, I don't think I could ever be in a long term relationship with a vegan. Every meal would be a complete headache.

charm.calvin said...

Ooh... Lots of supporters for me. Heh.

Thanks everyone. :-)

Anonymous said...

Everyone loves Calvin. *rolls eyes* Kinda like Kermit the frog. So... then Paul must be Miss Piggy! Wooooot!


Anonymous said...

go Calvin go .... we are cheering for you ... hehe ...

savante said...

quirky cyclops, hmmm :)

Loving pork is romantic, steven?

Didn't miss that bit, ryan but I thought the pork eating was far more significant :P

Didn't squeal with delight, poet. Was more speechless than anything.

Think I knew that, sbanboy :) So do I!

Teaching him to try some new things already, emily.

Already said it, quavadis :)

Katsudon. Even the name sounds yummy, annieiiee...

Glad you didn't faint from the shock, shah.

Glad he likes sharing his pork, ethnwg. I eat it everyday :P

Totally agree, snowdrop! But I bet you like beef more.

Nyonya! Yummy siew yoke.

But I love pork intestines and blood, ryan!

Trust me, the alfalfa cucumber thing exists. Then again, maybe it's some other green concoction, musang.

I'd sacrifice if the vegan was brandon Routh, jay.

Cute, calvin.

I love miss Piggy, SBB!


Emily said...

Oh no, I didn't mean patient with Calvin! I meant with food aversion in general, he sounds pretty open he does.

I explains no good. ^^ You two are cute. *Sends good vibes for exams, mock and otherwise*