Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Don't Leave a Light On

One of the things I'm always reminded of by my well-meaning ( though occasionally naggy about my sad lack of partners of the feminine persuasion ) mother is to marry someone who can understand the eccentric vagaries of my job. After all, it does take quite a guy to tolerate the odd unsociable hours, the frequently missed appointments and the ever-changing mood swings.

Hear that, Calvin? :) Consider that a blanket apology early on in the relationship though I have to admit I'm thankfully not all that prone to the mood swings.

Mood swings? Me?!
I'm the freaking soul of contentment.

It's not easy being married to a harassed doctor - or to anyone else whose lives ( what fucking lives! ) are invariably tied to their work. Certainly an ongoing problem that features prominently on many of the medical dramas that I'm such an avid fan of ( just so addictive watching someone else sweat and stumble at work for a change ). Think House. Think Grey's Anatomy. Think ER. Think about it, do these insane workaholics ever seem to leave the hospital?

Still, I do try my best to sympathize with their loved ones for putting up with such unfortunate circumstances. There are a rare few though that I find impossible to understand - such as the infamous Adele Webber, the long-suffering virago / wife of the Surgical Chief of Seattle Grace. Making her tempestuous way into the corridors of the imaginary hospital, the lady rants and rages over the unreasonable hours he spends there.

I never get it. Seriously. You marry the guy knowing his job sucks, his hours suck and then you complain incessantly that he doesn't pay enough attention? Sorry, darlin, you made your choice, you bought the entire package knowing what's in store for you so you get no pity points from me.

All I wanna do is smack Adele around. No doubt she's entitled to give the man lots of grief over his torrid little affair ( you all know how me and my sharp little scalpel feel about infidelity, right? ) but to rile at him over his job? Why marry him then? You want a guy who has all the time in the world to pay attention? Get yourself hitched to a struggling, penniless poet. Makes me wonder exactly what the shrew was thinking when she married him. Did she seriously think the man would change? A hyper Type A personality who's meticulous, obsessive and ambitious simply isn't going to walk away from the job while he's cruising at the top.

Let's face it. Never could understand what exactly makes them tick but some maniacal guys ( with me as the exception ) are just plain married to their work - they live work, they eat work, they breathe work - and if you didn't see it from the beginning, you were just awfully blinded by love.

So please don't leave a light on for the insane lil buggers - the bulb's jes gonna burn out that way.


Sue said...

Yup, I know exactly what you mean. I dated a guy in college that was planning on becoming a doctor. I decided that he would never have enough time for me, so I dumped him when he asked me to marry him. Now he is rich, sucessful and way too busy, and I am happy with my architect who has plenty of time for me. God bless Calvin for putting up with your schedule!

thompsonboy said...

You know how it is when you are in love. Will think it will conquer all. It will be different. It will break all rules. Well what else to say..love mah!!!

I am married to my job because no one wants to marry me.

Ban said...

Heh. We'll see.

ash said...

but i kinda like the idea of dating someone who has irregular timing. Dun care about missing dates or appointments, I could very well, um.. do extra corricular activities that he would not know about. =P

you post too damn fast paul! every time i visit there's two new posts!

closetalk said...

ure right. i had to deal with the same thing. one phone conversation, Boy told me very nicely, dat if i was hoping to get teh guy i'd fallen in love with forver, i wudnt get im - cuz that guy was on vacation when he met me. but he's not on vacation all the time, he can't anser my calls all the time, and if i want him in my life, i'll have to accept that. i'm trying to. because i realise he's right. wud love to shoot his boss, though. *grin*

Vengelyne said...

I fell in love with a guy who had all the time in the world for me, but after it was too late to pull out, he switched jobs and he's even more busy than a doctor. Then came the missed appointments, missing whereabouts, last minute cancelations, end of spontaneity, unpredictable timing and heavily discounted attention.

I shared the same sentiments as Ash about doing other things that he wouldn't know, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm a love sick puppy who's so faihtful, it'd make most normal people cringe at my pathetic state of faithfulness. Yeah, I'm a dumbass like that.

It's not impossible to get used to the lack of attention and time, just have lotsa fights and breakup attempts. Sure works for me. Now I embrace my ME TIME, too. ;-)

William said...

Time is such a luxury these days. We only see our loved ones a couple hours on weekdays. And during the weekends, you debate over whether to sleep in or to spend quality time with the people that matter to you. Don't forget times when you just want to be alone. Time managament, bah! Priorities, double bah!

Las montaƱas said...

The other alternative is this:

All the time in the world to look each other 24 hours a day. Like it?

Jemima said...

When a breakup happens, it can happen for any reasons/excuses.

Colin said...

Funny u mentioned it, just watched the second episode of GA last night. Chief of Medicine was given a decision to make.. as well as Meredith. I'll dump McDreamy/McVet for McSteamy myself!!! :)

Its the usual tossup between career and work/life balance. Just make every minute count!

Annie said...

There are usually three shifts at a hospital, something like (7a-3p)(3p-11p)(11p-7a?). If you work one of those shifts, you simply marry or date someone with the same shift. So, essentially, doctors would have to marry nurses, doctors marry doctors or nurses marry nurses. Then when their shifts change, you change partners. It's kind of like a Ho down I suppose. LOL!

asm@di said...

i have a friend who's married to her job. i on the other hand could never do that. i believe that i work so that i can live, not the other way around.

if there's a guy out there who needs a bf who's almost always available, call me :D

envy said...

Well i think people should cope with everything to make something succeed...as they say "TIMMING IS ALL"...then again when someone gets commited so that he practices his commitement not his loneliness...Well i'm going to apply to a new job and if ever i get accepted i know i will be having a HECTIC timming...i know from now i could never date anymore...nv

William said...

Dr - Nurse romance is sooo Ling Liong Sik - Ena Ling. Eeeee...

nyonyapenang said...

lights on or not does not really matter becos dating and married life are TOTALLY DIFFERENT!

-MeRCuRiAL- said...

Firstly, there is a difference between KNOWING something and being able to control your emotions. You may know very well that your partner has no time for you but knowing that doesn't imply you'll never be disappointed when he/she fails to make an appointment (yet again). It's called being human.

Secondly, I don't think she's trying to give him a hard time (at least not on purpose). she just wants him to slow down (in her opinion) "for his own good". It's like when parents nag. It's because they hope that after all the repetition, some of it will sink in and with some luck, you'll start carrying it out.

savante said...

GASP. Sue, do you have the number of the rich, successful guy? :P

Hardly. Maybe I'm a cynic but I never actually thought that love would conquer all, thompsonboy.

Daniel, see what?

Ooh. Date me then, ash! :P Do I really post all that fast? Just try to do it on a daily basis.

Should hope that he becomes the boss then, closetalk.

It's good to be a lovesick puppy once in your life, vengelyne :) But it's good to be able to get pass the stage too.

I need more time too, william. Sigh.

Precisely, las montanas, it would drive me insane.

True enough, jemima.

I'd take McVet instead, colin. McSteamy looks like the high maintenance type.

Sexual Hoedown. I like that, Annieiieieie....

Hey, I'd give them my number first, asmadi :P

No dates envy? GASP!

True enough, nyonya. Can't imagine married life.

You have a point there, mercurial. maybe she is trying to get him to slow down.


Anonymous said...

You are lucky man. At least you get to see your man once in a while. While for me.........

ec said...

You are quite good-looking. I wish I could date you!=P

MasculinEndings said...

at least you and your boy live in the town. my last boyfriend lived 2 hours away by car and he didnt have one of those conventional jobs which gave him the weekend off. in two months of dating him, i only saw him three times in the flesh. the rest of the time was spent racking up huge phone bills which made only Maxis happy. i finally parted ways with him and cited distance as he reason, though i think i really loved him.