Friday, September 15, 2006

Ain't No Other Man

Since burning the brassiere turned out in vogue decades back, women have learned to roar when pressing situation calls but it seems the unfortunate payback is that some men of today are barely making a whimper. Let's face it, women's lib has been around for generations and yet gender stereotyping still exists.

After years of political correctness, men and women are still judged by different standards. Judging by a radio commentary today ( overheard on my way back from work ), if for some obscure reason a man lives off a woman, he's branded a spineless leech, a ne'er do well, a useless parasite - while if a woman does the same, she'll probably be given a firm salute for achieving many a parent's goal, possibly even an object of envy for many of her peers. Quite glaringly obvious from the number of lunching tai tais sauntering lazily around the malls during working hours in their Pradas and their Guccis. If a healthy, reasonably intelligent man were to do so, he'd probably be clapped up and stoned in the public square.

All man?Even the traditionally 'feminine' arts are not looked on favourably. When a man takes up knitting or ( God forbid! :) ) fashion design, he's automatically tagged a limp-wristed fag, nelly or a sissy while a strapping Amazon who's holding a bloody machete in one hand and a loaded machine gun in another is lauded for advancing women's rights. Seriously. Would you prefer a slinky Versace gown with ornamental safety pins or several crying orphans in a war-torn country?

Due to unforgiving societal expectations, men are required to be intelligent, smart, resourceful and able to hold down a reasonably stable job. Any small aberration from the above and they'll be relegated to the lowly, unsavoury company of bums and drunks. On the other hand, there would be no raised eyebrows if some little girl were to make a wish to snag a wandering prince charming and live happily ever after with her three Indonesian maids, limitless credit and a walk-in wardrobe full of designer couture.

And along with all that material success, men are supposed to be sweet, sensitive and submissive. Holy Stepford Husbands! Talk about a near impossible benchmark! Be without those paragon-like qualities and the significant others would start wailing in distress to their chic girlfriends over Cosmopolitans. Has anyone ever bothered to wonder why it's rare to find guys complaining about their girlfriends to their buddies in the sports bar?

Trust me. Women love to rage occasionally about the difficulties of being all female ( and I certainly do sympathize but you have strappy Manolos to compensate! ) but really, it isn't all that easy being a guy either - much less a heterosexual guy. After all that, does it come as any surprise that most sensitive new age guys are turning gay? :)

22 comments:

Milady Insanity said...

OMG! When I get my blog back tomorrow, I'm sooooo linking to this post!

ikanbilis said...

( God forbid ) fashion design? whats up with that?

i don't deny that i'm already 1/4 outgayed myself!

hrugaar said...

Oh, guys do discuss their wives and girlfriends in bars over here - but in the old stereotype manner of complaining how they don't fit the goods and chattel mould.

Do New Age guys even go to bars without their women? ;oP

closetalk said...

*claps insanely*
BRILLIANT!!!

savante said...

OMG. Am I gonna be besieged by angry women, milady?

It was said with sarcasm, ikanbilis. I don't think fashion design is at all femine, I almost took that course myself.

True enough, ru. Mayeb they go to coffeehouses :)

Thanks closetalk.

Paul

sharon said...

all will be justified once you experience mentruation and labour! :p

ikanbilis said...

alright. and you almost did? darn you could have become the next top designer for siti's wedding gown! or at least to replace zang toi or smth.. hehe.. i'm doing little extra homework by reading previous entries of yours

nyonyapenang said...

i believe there is quite a following for 'nasi selipar'. ;)

mARCus said...

there are more guys hiding in the closet than we know of...wish i could tell for sure...

Sue said...

It seems to me that both genders have valid complaints. But, women have more options in life while men just have more power.

thompsonboy said...

I think straight man had it easy. Woman (most of them at least) are wonderful creature (as long you don't piss them off by forgetting their birthdays), they don't care if you are fat, ugly man without a gym membership card in your wallet.

I love you girls...

Ed said...

Sensitive new age guys are turning gay? So you think it is a choice? I think what you meant to say is that more men are feeling comfortable being their gay selves when in times past they felt the need to hide their true inner feelings. I for one did not choose to be gay.

evil_shandye said...

gawsh... the societal contrary had gone berserk these couple of days in my faculty with the discoverance of the male toilet at the grand lobby to be the hot-spot for us-couples let of our 'steams'. haha... i guess the law-studying society that i mingle with are still not ready with the fact that most of us sharply dressed or sissy-lyke students are GAY.. muahaha... embrace the fact people!!!

Maximus Leo said...

Double standards all the way!!! But heh I rather be kept than to work so freaking hard only to have half your money spend by your so called wife just to make her happy because you love her! But what a about a gay kept partner.... I don't mind being one now after working so freaking long hours!

Cris L said...

Too much posting Mr P.....

AND not enough writing !!!

Annie said...

Ditto on what Sharon said.

"men are required to be intelligent, smart, resourceful and able to hold down a reasonably stable job".... You say it like there's something wrong with that! :p Those are only the basic qualities that are required - I also ask for integrity, honor, devotion and faithfulness. Now these qualities are hard to find in men AND women.

Keep going Paul. I like these observations.

Musang said...

hmmmm...

heavy stuff...

hmmm...

does this mean, if i secure myself a rich husband with an apartment round 5th avenue and a company worth billions, i'll be called spineless leech? or will i be called a successful tai tai?

either way, let them be. as long as i have my guccis, pradas and burberrys, they all are just jealous.

*flips hair and walk away*

Las montaƱas said...

LOL! musang! *flips hair and walks away*

PsYcHo suPerGoDdeSs said...

what i'm looking for is just a guy who's nice, sweet, emotionally stable and most important of all some1 i can really trust. it's tiring. I just wanted sum1 2 share my life with. And it's not easy finding 1 :(

savante said...

True enough, sharon. Hey, don't get me wrong. I think women are wonderful. Just think that most guys are getting the short end of the stick.

Wah, reading my older entries... scary, ikanbilis :)

Yes, I think I'd want that too, nyonya!

Don't worry, I can't tell either, ru.

Yeah, everyone has complaints, sue :)

Not every gay man bothers about shallow looks, thompson boy :)

Kidding, ed. THat was sarcasm, note the smiley face at the end of that paragraph :)

Shocked. Which male toilet is that, shandye!

I don't mind being a kept partner too, ian!

I know I know. Will get to that soon enough, cris :) THanks for the reminder.

But don't you think it's an odd double standard, annnieieieie...

You'll still be fabulous, musang. But we'd hit on you for free dinners.

He's a kidder, ain't he, las montanas.

The boys are out there, supergoddess. I've seen them!

Paul

nemesis-on-fire said...

eh, paul! i don't want my man to be submissive... how b-o-r-i-n-g! and i think women like paris hilton have no substance :P but it's really nice to have manolos and not have to do anything with life. except i think i'd be pissed bored :D

ditto what sharon and annie said :) who cares if he doesn't have a million dollar account, what's important is honesty, integrity, loyalty and honour. in BOTH men AND women. i know men who are bastards. and women who are sluts. i like neither :)

THE HONOURABLE SHAH said...

some male designers aren't 'lembik' at all, despite their homosexual nature. take the hot Tom Ford for example! :D