I can already see some of you shaking your heads in disapproval, tsking all the while. Me, I'm a lil more ambivalent on this thorny issue. So tell no one - and I'll strongly deny such shockingly malicious accusations of course since this is all hypothetical and certainly not a confession! - but in my ( far from ) rebellious teenage years, I used to get the occasional kicks from pilfering items every once in a little while.
Hell, I'm not immune to the forbidden thrill even now - though I try very hard to resist. Not something to be proud of but at least I managed to outgrow that peculiar kleptomaniac phase. And I'll admit I can reasonably afford most items these days.
So don't even try to psychoanalyze my screwed-up motivations :)
But I've been an angel ever since.
Well at least till I bumped into Janvier and Genial Graham one late night in a coffee house. Consider this imaginary scenario. After chatting for a while, the store started closing on us leaving us sitting at the table with the half-finished cups surrounding us. As they shut the doors on us, the baristas didn't even bother collecting them. So rather than just leave the store, Janvier ( or possibly one of his more larcenous personalities - Soused Soldat perhaps ) and I decide to repossess the cups we'd used.
To the endless astonishment of Genial Graham.
Janvier : Take the cup?
Paul : The boyfriend doesn't count so no witnesses. No cameras. Yes.
Janvier : Aye. The collective agrees.
Graham : God, do I even know you?!
Gotta love Janvier. Somewhere in that deep collective of personalities, I bet there's a soul who used to be crime buddies with me in my past life. Possibly a Bonnie & Clyde combo.
Can add him to the list of fellows I'd call if I needed to bury that body.
Planning our next move...
We made our quick getaway of course but a very nervous twitchy Graham looked as if the cops would round up on him at that very moment to throw him in the slammer for the petty theft. A successful heist of course and the very generous Janvier decided to hand me the loot to celebrate.
Hence the pilfered cup standing on my desk today.
Well if it was true. Since this is all hypothetical.
So when I tried to repay the favour by getting a mug for Janvier, I got Charming Calvin watching me in a similarly reproving judgy-judging way. Probably the same look Genial Graham gave Janvier the other day.
Calvin : What are you doing?
Paul : Cleaning the mug.
Calvin : You are not taking it.
Paul : Hmm...
Calvin : Look, I'll pay for it.
Paul : Where's the fun in that?
Calvin : God, do I even know you?
Don't you just love cups and mugs?
9 comments:
i used to be pretty good when it comes to this...haha!! (what a confession!!)
repented
and like u...YES i can afford most of the things i desire....
nevertheless, u know....it's hard to resist "taking" mugs from coffee houses these days....wakakakaka!!
so, u go gurl!! i mean...way to go Paul!! ;P
Pretty soon, they'll erect scanners at all cafe entrances! :P
Have a wonderful week ahead Doc! ^_^
+Ant+
Ahh..Paul! I used to that during my college years..lepak at one of coffee shops in Oz till midnight and "took" the cups when the waiter forgot to take them ~ I had 5 mugs in total..hahaha..I was such a bad boy ~
P.S. I agree its the thrill not the money ~
Hahaha, back in my heyday (Hmmm...which wasn't that long ago) we used to make it habit to take glasses from bars that we visited. My friends kitchen was outfitted with about two dozen of those generically hideous glasses. On the plus side it was easy to replace them if one was broken and she always had a matching set, lol.
OMG u mug thefts!! Its gotta be the drink that made both u and janvier this way!
Blame it on the drink instead, youll feel much guitless.
Do you need a matching set? Or would Charming Calvin balk at the idea of using repossessed mugs? We could make it his birthday gift! :P
lol we all do our things, and have our own ways of getting a thrill. If you ever steal my mug, though... I will kill you.
I would'nt mind if it's a limited edition mug. Yeah for the thrill!
Don't even mention it to Calvin, AJ! He's a very conservative law-abiding citizen.
Wow. Now that's a scary idea, Anton.
So fun to do so, right, hamsap?
Starting my own collection as well, becky. Let's see how many I get in a year.
Yeah, totally blame the drink. Caffeine makes us larcenous, alice.
Calvin would screech and hide from the mug for days, janvier.
It's a mug, kat! :)
Doubt it's limited. I assume there's a factory churning out thousands of mugs in a minute, helix.
P
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