Thursday, August 18, 2011

Sue to the Rescue

Turns out, just like a bad penny, Scatter-brained Sibyl makes an unwelcome appearance in my life again.

Scatter-brained Sibyl, as some of you might know, would be the far-flung relation with the singular misfortune of having an indefatigable matchmaking mother.

Perhaps I shouldn't blame poor innocent Sibyl entirely - as she is most likely blissfully unaware of her tenacious mother's Machiavellian machinations. Despite facing dozens of crucial setbacks, the formidable matron remains undaunted in her ultimate goal of marrying me off to her eligible debutante of a daughter. Nearly incoherent in her single-minded intent to march us both to the altar, I truly doubt our wishes matter to her in the slightest.

At least I hope Sibyl is an unwitting participant in her sainted mama's schemes - since otherwise I really might have to knock some sense into her.

No worries, fellows. Things haven't gotten that drastic yet.

Or at the very least my sister-in-law Sassy Sue would probably offer to do it in my stead.

Seems that my recent transfer miles away from Sibyl - thereby reducing her chances of marriage - has clearly driven her increasingly desperate Mama off the bend. Apparently in a last ditch attempt to have us forcibly married off, Sibyl's Mama has been haunting Sue's door. And her cellphone. And her e-mail. And her facebook account. Stalker much?

Relentless, that Sibyl's Mama.

Sue : Guess what, Sibyl's Mama called to harass me again.
Paul : Good God. Does that woman never give up?
Sue : Get her off my back already!
Paul : Tell her I fell for a native warrior princess, married her and moved to the deepest jungles!
Sue : I wouldn't believe that myself!
Paul : Tell her I am gay dammit.
Sue : I tried that! She doesn't believe me.
Paul : You told her?
Sue : Well she doesn't believe me anyway! She keeps wailing about how I'm thwarting Sibyl's chances of marriage.
Paul : If she means with me, the chances are zero.

Seriously. If the gay defence doesn't work?


Life for Beginners | Kenny Mah said...

Hmm. Sometimes desperate-to-be-in-laws suffer DENIAL far more than one's actual family? :P

the island guy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the island guy said...

Your posts are funny. Take a picture of you kissing another guy and send it to her. Then maybe she'll believe that you're gay :)

Tom said...

OMG, not even the gay excuse?? She's really one very very persistent person.

two horns child said...

I once loose weight drastically cause i just started smoking. My mom tought that i am taking drugs. My sis who is like "Sue's" position couldn't take it and told my mom i started smoking. Like Sybill's mom, My mom doesn't believe her.Untill she saw my Ciggarate's box and ashray in my room. They tend to believe what they wanna see at times like that. Maybe you should get some super sissy friends to hang out with you when she is around. Or ask Sue to showw her pictures of it next time. Lol....

two horns child said...

On the other hand, you should feel flattered that you are so desirable

rotiboy said...

such persistence! the mother did not realize that she has caused her daughter to be depreciate, erm, in desirability?

Anonymous said...

She advanced to a higher authority!