Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Return of the Sims

Guess you can call the game of Sims a largely harmless escapist fantasy. Gives all of us an avenue to escape from the dull humdrum of our everyday existence. Ever dream of being a courageous firefighter? Ever dream of being the perfect 1950s housewife?

Or in my case, dreams of being a sociopathic passive-aggressive homewrecker Casanova.

Turns out it has been more than a year since I last played the game! So what better way to celebrate my purchase of a spanking new iPad than downloading one of my favourite micromanagement games. Unfortunately not fully developed in HD yet - get on it already developers!

Still gives me a chance to live out my fantasy though.

Waitaminute, did I woo hoo with this strapping fellow already? I really need to start keeping track.

Think Wisteria Lane. A typical conversation with my Sim character that happens in my games translated from babbling Simlish of course.

Jill : How dare you come into my house again, you creep!
Paul : To use your well-appointed bath of course. Your husband so loves that lovely musky scent that you bought. On me.
Jill : How dare you! He's my husband!
Paul : Highly closeted. Couldn't keep his hands off me. Why, we've even done it in your bedroom.
Jill : You did the woo hoo with my husband?!
Paul : Yes. Leave him already!
Jill : No, I won't!
Paul : Then take this slap from me!
Jill : Ouch!
Paul : And another slap!
Jill : Ouch.
Paul : Dammit. Why can't I stab you with the knife?
Jill : It's not a violent game!
Paul : Eh, since I'm already holding the knife, I'm going to raid your fridge and cook a meal.
Jill : Get out of my house now!
Paul : Kicking me out won't stop me from coming back now that your husband's my partner.

Oh yes, my shockingly attractive though morally ambiguous lab assistant has been having a torrid affair with Jack, that sexy silver-haired fox of a politician. Obviously much to the dismay of his long-suffering dutiful wife Jill - who gets regular physical abuse in the form of daily slaps from me.

Just because.

If that's not soap opera enough, I'm also having a daily woo hoo visits from my hunky blond colleague Johnny. And Jake. And Walter. Yes, I am playing quite a reprehensible character, I know.

Yup, plenty of the above going on. As if you needed another reason to love the game, the developers have always shown their unwavering wholehearted support for alternative sexualities. Not only can gay men get married, they can adopt and have children.

And obviously have plenty of woo hoo.

BTW did I mention Facebook is beta-testing Sims right now? :)


Life for Beginners | Kenny Mah said...

I love how you made "woo hoo" a verb. WOO-HOO! ;)

the island guy said...

Entertaing post you have here... it makes my imagination run wild!

ooi2009 said...

paul , the island guy is here again , boy , is he hot ....wish can get in his pants .....

J-boy said...

HAHAHA i love the interpretation of the conversation between the Sims!

I play the game too, and i love being a homewrecker (only in Sims)! But I only go for the hot husbands, like Thornton Wolff! ;)

savante said...

If it isn't, it should be, kenny! :) Anyway I think the game uses woo-hoo as a verb!

Not as wild as some of the places I've done the woo hoo at, islandguy!

Oh yeah he is kinda hawt, ooi :)

Well that's what I imagine they would say. Most times they usually end up fighting, J boy.


rotiboy said...

LOL! That's really funny as it sounds. I tried to play straight characters but keep failing, always ended up woohooing with hot guys in the game LOL. it's in my blood and bones I guess.