Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Year of the Flirt

Don't think anyone would dispute the fact that Fabulous Felix is as gay as they come. Love the fellow to bits - I can actually swear a fabulous little purse falls out each time he speaks. How much more dull our world would be without some of his fairy dust.

What surprised me was the fact that it hasn't been all that long since he came out to himself. Knowing him, you'd have expected Felix to be dolling himself up with feather boas and glitter way back in kindergarten to sashay down the playroom. Turns out that's way off from what actually happened in reality for him.

Felix : All that fabulousity is making up for lost time, I guess.
Paul : Waitaminute, weren't you born with a rainbow flag clenched in your baby fists?
Felix : Uh. No? I only found out I was gay for sure in university.
Paul : OMG seriously. No pink feather boas in kindergarten?
Felix : None at all. How about you?
Paul : Knew maybe when I was 15?

Certainly explains why Felix doesn't have all the prejudiced hang-ups we carry about since he didn't come out to himself till after high school.

Ahh.. seems like we have a gay boy in our midst!

Think for a while there I was quite the flamer myself back in school. Sobered down as the harsh realities of an all boys school came home to me. Any delusional conservatives who actually imagine that single-sex education fosters rampant homosexuality have obviously not gone there. Far from liberal especially when it comes to matters such as sexuality!

Fabulous gay boy too school for cool hanging out in the compound seems ripe for a beating. But all the taunts and jeers about fags and homos that I endured through lower secondary eventually helped toughen me enough to hit back.

Not physically of course. Wasn't stupid enough to risk getting jumped outside the school compound by a bunch of brainless thugs. Though I'll admit to a few unwarranted kicks during a game of rugby. Don't even ask what I did with my hockey stick.

In general though I meted out verbal hits.

Classmate : Yo, faggot.
Paul : Why? Are you asking me out on date?
Classmate : Only if you had a sister.
Paul : Just like me? Aww, that's sweet.
Classmate : Fuck off.
Paul : Only if you buy me dinner first.
Classmate : What the... you...

Leaving them flummoxed.

Probably that's how I learnt how to flirt outrageously. Unfortunately teenage brutes that age don't really know how to respond to my unconventional, wildly inappropriate come-ons.

Just surprised I never ended up with a vengeful fist in my bloody eye.


Life for Beginners said...

Flirting's especially fun with those who least expects it... ;)

Ban said...

hard to imagine melaka boys using words like "faggot"...