I'm not a big fan of PDA.
Public Displays of Affection natch. Not only do I have strict personal boundaries when it comes to uninvited hugs and kisses, I have a naturally chilly demeanour almost guaranteed to forcefully repel any such impetuous advances. In fact I don't think I'm very physically affectionate at all, even in private. Pretty sure Charming Calvin could attest to that.
Or at least that's what I used to think.
Turns out there are bigger prudes out there - our conservative Rambling Robin amongst them. More accustomed to sweet sonnets and civilized conversation, Robin steers well clear of the seamier side of the gay life. I'll willingly admit that his previous unfortunate encounter with a thigh grope in a seedy sauna soured the experience for him but wouldn't that have steeled him to make the acquiantance of a hand?
And I mean just a hand to hold. Nothing more.
Robin : OMG Did he just brush my hand?! Someone catch me! I think I'm gonna faint.
You see, our shy gentleman Robin has been getting all hearts-aflutter when a certain strapping fellow saunters past by his bachelor chambers. Faint heart never won any fair muscle mary so Robin bravely pursued the acquiantance with an uncharacteristically daring movie invitation. One that was accepted quite readily.
Robin : I don't know what I should do to let him know of my feelings.
Paul : You could try holding his hand during the movie.
Robin : WHAT!
Paul : Hold his hand?
Robin : WHAT?! I don't do that!
Paul : It's a hand.
Robin : But in public!
Paul : Everyone's watching the damned show.
Robin : I can't!
Paul : It's just his fucking hand! You're not cuddling his balls!
Robin : I can't touch his hand!
Paul : Good God. Are you in high school?!
Seems holding his hand is even more taboo!
I would have suggested venturing further than only his hand - doesn't everyone love a good make-out session at the movies? - but I figured that kinda wicked proposition would probably have timid Robin falling into a swoon. As it was, he was already breathlessly groping for his snuffbox.
Guess there really are folks afraid of a little hand-holding.
Obviously Robin flatly refused to entwine fingers with his gentleman swain without fair warning - so I had to resort to more devious and sophomoric ways of getting things done.
Paul : Can't believe you can't just grab his hand.
Robin : I can't do that! It's just not done.
Paul : Fine. Get a tub of popcorn. One tub of popcorn mind and share.
Robin : Umm. What for?
Paul : Haven't you seen the usual cliche? Get your hands into the tub at the fucking same time!
Seriously. Are we in high school yet?