Two Gay Boys, A Girl and A Pirate

There once was a sweet gal named Patty,
Who drove every man she knew batty,
Bought a pair of shades,
Turned manly in spades,
Completed a house with ala-crity.

Seriously. Did I only think that Pirating Patty was only good with automobiles and oil drills?

Certainly proven wrong yesterday. Turns out two homos and one hag in a house only gets you pretty interior decor with shabby electrical wiring. Though you certainly can't point the finger at us for the shoddy planning. Starting to think that our beleaguered landlady Mrs Elton was more concerned with speed than practicality when it came to house construction.


Kat : Hmm. Maybe a candle would have worked better!
Paul : We really need help in our time of darkness.
Hence the simply mind-boggling placement of electrical outlets. Tangled wires criss cross the living room, study and even the kitchen. A couple of electric plugs squeezed into tight spaces even Kool Kat's delicate hands are unable to worm in. Even one so high up you'd have to somersault from a distant beam just to reach it.

Amazed me to find that none of my landlady's numerous progeny - or even her tenants - had suffered an acute electric shock during their tenancy in Netherfield.

Lo and behold, we have Piratin Patty come to our rescue. Took one look at our tragic predicament, grabbed her huge testosteroney-shades and mumbled in a husky baritone.

Paul : Damned plugs.
Felix : Save us!
Patty : Move aside, fellas. This is clearly a job for Patty.
Paul : Wow!
Patty : Hand me the hammer and drill.
Paul : Hammer and drill? Wouldn't masking tape do?
Patty : *Growl*

Turns out no masking tape needed. Bang, hammer and chisel. And the work was done. Swear I even saw manly hair grow on the back of her sinewy arms.