Probably a little legacy of my life-long fetish for priests. Or maybe more because I swooned over that seminal gay movie Latter Days. Now who could possibly forget the unforgettable scene where the modestly shy yet adorably hunky Mormon ripped off his sheer white underwear with aplomb?
So it was to my utmost delight that I rabidly noted that the conscientious Mormon boys actually do their holy circuits in Miri. Healthy corn-fed young missionaries. White shirts. Black pants. On their ten-speeds. Knocking on the doors of the non-believers with Bible in hand.
In their proselytizing bid to spread the word to the unholy heathens in the area, they have somehow cleverly managed to circumvent the depraved den of iniquity that is Netherfield! Eventhough I have planted quite obvious signs of my vile ungodliness along the path to my cave! Don't they know that I'm quite, quite ready and willing to repent with the right missionary?
Repent repeatedly if we both have to in all manner of unnatural back-breaking positions!
The Mormons are coming!
But I digress. No doubt the naive rosy-cheeked fellows have been zealously warned by the elders to steer clear - preferably a safe five-miles radius - of the unhallowed grounds of Netherfield.
So I have taken to stalking them around town. Haven't actually found the best way to send an engraved invitation to redeem my soul as yet so it's still quite rough-and-ready methods. Mostly consisting of impulsively yelling out wicked propositions at them as they zip by in their bicycles.
Mormon : Gosh, that car is coming awfully close!
Paul : Hey sexy, care for a ride?
Mormon : Oh my heck!
Glad to say quite a few have wobbled from their seats.
Bordering on sexual / religious / racial harassment, I know. I'm sure there would be pitchforks heading down Netherfield's way soon.
5 comments:
Ah... Latter Days... the movie that changed my view of Mormons in general. Didn't know they could be quite so... sexy. :D
Just don't forget to remember the lonely king size bed in Pemberley some time.
Love, love, love this entry! So farneeeeeeeeeee!
Although, somehow, I dont think it was ALL in jest..... which made it all the better!
Let's plan to meet up for CNY for drinks! Legolas, you too!
Mormons nowadays have standards to live up to! Either they have to be like Steve Sandvoss or Joseph Gordon-Levitt!
i live outside a seventh day adventist temple/church thing, and i can tell you the constant interruptions are annoying. and no, they are not good looking.
or i have impossibly high standards.
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