Miss Independents II : Buttons & Bows

Miss Independents these days are so eager to conquer the world that most have forgotten entirely the power of being all female.

Trust me, girls, the battle of the sexes isn't going to be worn by a pants-wearing dominatrix trying outman the guys. Rather than march right up the fella demanding your rights in a strident voice - right before punching him, isn't it so much easier to flutter your mascara-ed eyelashes, whisper your secret wishes and have them present it to you on bended knee?

Now whoever said feminity was weak?

As the flirtatious femme fatales down the century have proven, bows, ruffles and lace work wonders on the male ego. And it doesn't make them in the least bit submissive.

Something I evidently had to prove to Piratin Patty. Trust the gay fella to talk the girl into buttons and bows. Just like the tomboyish Peppermint version with the same name, this Patty's very much into supposedly conventional masculine pursuits such as cars, machinery and the outdoors.

Pink teddies and frilly bows? Not so much.

Still despite being permatanned in khakis and tees, this fabulous girl still manages to snag some Grade-A hotties on her own. So imagine what Patty could pull with a decent makeover.

Or at least a touch of lip gloss.


Time to take you shopping, Patty!
Having her luggage ( and her unfortunate collection of beige dungarees ) impossibly stranded at sea certainly gave us both an excuse for some shopping. Unfortunately as it turns out Miri's pretty slim pickin's for a fabulous makeover. For the Gossip Girl afficionados, think more trashy Jenny by way of Shinjuku than Upper East Side Blair. Seriously haven't seen so much bling and taffeta since Madonna rocked it in the 80s. Sleazy street fashion that if worn might possibly have you mistaken as a cheap hooker on meth.

So you can imagine that Patty and I had to diligently scour through every little ( an admittedly small number ) backstreet boutique in this town. Or should I say every tacky wannabe store purporting to be a boutique! Still we did manage to find a presentable ensemble after much effort ( and some shocking lowering of standards! ). Headbands instead of rubber bands. Skirts instead of khakis. Stilettos instead of running shoes.

Only to hit a snag when Patty refused to put on make-up. And you know my thoughts on make-up. Giving her no room for protest, I shoved her into the only available make-up store and point-blank ordered the reluctant salesman to perform some magic.

Patty : But make-up's so difficult. And wastes so much time.
Paul : You can't be one of those delusional folks who actually believe in natural beauty! For what God hasn't provided, he sent us make-up dammit!
Patty : Umm.

After much persuasion - and lots of arm-twisting, Patty finally submitted to some lipstick and eyeliner. Though she drew the line at foundation.

For this, I stayed away. Though I love the effects, gotta admit I'm a little afraid of make-up. Pretty sure the eyeliner was created by a devious opthalmologist who hoped that errant females would inadvertently poke their eyes out. Even the thought makes my eyes water.


Certainly not a problem for Patty who found that a lil touch of lipstick really never hurt no one. Get ready, world!