Saturday, October 10, 2009

What's the Anti-Matter?

What's the matter, you say?

Well an incident this weekend proved my point when I have said repeatedly that ex-boyfriends and current ones don't mix. Ever the eternal optimist, my sweet innocent friend committed the relationship faux pas of the decade by thrusting his ex and his current boyfriend repeatedly together. Might as well toss in some mud, place some bets and ring the bell for the fight to start.

Never the twain shall meet, I say. For a while now Charming Calvin has been making noises about meeting my ISO - and I shudder at such a momentous yet catastrophic incident.

Let's see... what could possibly happen if they actually meet.

Chuck
Maybe they'd armwrestle.

First they might end up enemies. Think Turkish bloodbath. Forget about being perfectly politically correct.

Isn't it already an unwritten rule that exes and currents should always loathe each other? At best you get a cold war. At worst you end up calling the emergency room. And if so, you'd be inadvertently caught in between - the unfortunate referee wedged between the dagger-drawing combatants hoping they don't come to physical blows across the dining table. Squashed between a rock and a hard place, not exactly a comfortable place to be in.

Placating either one would only mean certain disaster either way.

Or even worse... they could turn into best friends. Really terrible if you think about it. Fellow compadres separated at birth. Not impossible since they would presumably share some similarities and possibly some interests. After all they did date the same fellow - poor you - for a certain length of time.

Exchanging numbers and tweets, they'd meet secretly to share horror stories of their respective time with you - and then later gang up on you when least expected.

Calvin : And he loves to abandon me by the sidewalk.
My ISO : Damned irritating the way he walks, like a bloody speed train.
Calvin : I know! Leaving me in the dust. Horrid.
My ISO : What happened to smelling the roses!
Calvin : Probably trampled all over them in the hurry.

See. No good can possibly come of it.

14 comments:

William said...

Calvin will not give up so easily. Perhaps they'll end up chummy, and that's a bigger nightmare?

sue said...

worst of all, you becoming the ex and they become each other's currents!

nase said...

My oh my, told ya Calvin has been all suspicious about it and thinks it's a conspiracy on your part to not let them ever meet up. Tried explaining to him?

Pluboy2 said...

I am a walking sample that ex-es dont be friends, but i am also one of the ex that makes friend with the other exes.!!

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Demetris said...

you know, ex-es can be friends. it depends on how they separated. if both of them understand it is a life - then ok! but if there is offence between them - of course friendship is impossible!

Janvier said...

Hmmm the battle of the ex and current! Wonder if the temperature dropped significantly that night.

MrBunnyBan said...

When is this happening? Updates! And make sure photos are taken. ;)

Bradley Hyunckel said...

never mind if ex and current share the bad habits of you...could be threesome???:p

Anonymous said...

LOL!! Don't think that's the worst of your nightmare yet.

joshua said...

drama...

or it could end up like how my ex asked the bf to go makan together when i was out of the country. lol

TJay said...

Hmmm.... I live with my Ex (he's my Best Friend and Brother) and his boyfriend loves me and treats me like gold.

My situation might be different. And the new boyfriend's Ex is a good friend of ours....

Now, imagine 4 Ex's (two who are dating) together over wine and dinner. Lots of wine! The laughter that ensues is amazing and we tell dirty little secrets because we can.

However, LOL, we still keep some things to ourselves, GRIN

Kenny Mah said...

I dunno, both my ex's and my current get along fine. Props to them, then? :)

Legolas said...

I'm not a monster. I can do civility, even if it's pretended. But I'm okay not meeting him, no change to my life I guess.