God on Facebook

For all you godless non-believers out there, come listen to what I have to say! For I bring proof of the existence of an Almighty! If the fact that Chris Evans walks the blessed earth ( or at least his backyard ) in his sublime natural state wasn't enough of an evidence, I present you with the holy facebook.

What? Did you expect the parting of the Red Sea? Been there, done that. Obviously.


Whoa, dude. Is that God?
And for the faithful who despair that God has turned His back on this wicked technologically-inclined modern world, oh ye of little faith! For He is all around. All-All-knowing. All-forgiving. And obviously All-computer whiz as well - since in this age of wonders, He has come to speak to us on facebook!

The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth. (Psalms 145:18)

Just yesterday I asked and was answered - at the surprisingly pedestrian click of a button. Certainly no blaze of heavenly light followed by angelic bells ringing ( where's the road to Damascus when you need one! ) but I could have sworn the computer screen shone just a tad brighter. Even the cached porn seemed slightly less tawdry.

No worries, I'm not going to claim to be the next holy messiah with a message. I'm just a friendly follower helping to spread the word. So lo and behold!

On this day of your life, Paul, we believe God wants you to know ... that it is time to finally forgive yourself. You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has to come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about.

See my message from up above? The guilt? The shame? God speaks to me!

Absolution at last! No idea what I have to be ashamed about ( since my litany of sins run longer than the Old Testament! ) but it's good to know that I'm finally forgiven. And thankfully without the urgent need for a hundred Hail Marys!

Enough to turn anyone into a true believer. Now I've gotta start searching for God. Literally. As in online. If I can add Him to my list of friends, maybe I could superpoke Him on a daily basis.

Wonder if God twitters yet.