Qipu Quarrel

In the event of an uncertain situation, the adrenaline hormone forces our body into a flight or flight response. At least that's the precept generally taught in our medical schools.

Evidently in China, there's an additional reaction. The come-and-stare response.

Didn't exactly surprise me to be a reluctant witness to a minor scuffle in Qipu Lu. Yes, that does sound like Cheapo Lu. And just like the name, the area contains warehouse-sized malls hocking shockingly cheap knockoffs at bargain basement prices ( after some degree of savvy back-and-forth bargaining ). Relentless hordes of loud-mouthed locals immediately descend upon the unwary passerby promising branded goods straight out of the factory lots.

Not exactly what you'd call the epicentre of culture and poise.

I was only mollified after learning that the thrifty boys who come in search of a bargain for clothes have no choice but to strip to their skivvies - with changing rooms in seriously short supply. Impoverished comrades always have the best abs.


Hope no one's looking!
Unfortunately my friends were far too distracted to admire half-naked men.

I'll admit the ladies do go a little crazy with all the dresses, handbags and accessories on sale. Evidently crazy enough - with the strict authoritarian regime ruling China - to line their pockets without payment. Obviously not even the imminent threat of a firing squad can put the fear of God into them.

So what does a brazen petty thief do when confronted by an irate shopkeeper? Instead of begging piteously for tender mercies with tales of a miserable childhood, the thief immediately started hurling abuses instead.

Generally any sensible fellow would have fled the scene lest the flying fists and feet of the combatants ( and whatever sharp projectiles they can lay their hands on ) inadvertently miss their aim. The more intrepid fellows would probably try their best to separate the dueling opponents.

Not the Chinese.

In the event of an imminent scuffle, the earlier hordes peddling their wares immediately drop all their worldly goods to rush to the scene. Not only do they crowd around to watch ( and cheer? ), they immediately start a rallying cry for their comrades to join the worthy cause.

Calvin : I think there's a fight.
Paul : Damn, should we leave?
Fiona : Wait a minute. Hey, all the native peddlers are going closer for a look.
Paul : Should we join them?

Glorying in schadenfreude, the eager spectators crowded closer barely inches away from the escalating quarrel. Could have sworn they were taking bets! Knowing the propensity of the Chinese to place wagers on anything, they were probably just that close to starting a gambling den.

I'd have staked my wager on the surprisingly audacious thief though.