A Sweet Escape

My cousins are turning slutty. And I blame the religious zealots - otherwise known as our supposed self-appointed guardian of our morals.

Thanks for watching over our morals... but no thanks. You'd do well to keep your hands off my morals since I prefer them dirrrty.

Not the first time Malaysians have decried the serious dearth of good solid entertainment in the country. Well, I seriously doubt any of them would be fool enough to try since each time a foreign artiste is invited to perform here, there's the usual hue and cry over the perceived decline of morals in Malaysia. And the latest furore is over poor Gwen Stefani.

Imagine Gwen, our Orange County Girl. I think our hollaback girl is as clean as they come actually. Doesn't do drugs, doesn't do rehab stints, doesn't do wild parties - from all reports, seemingly a hard-working, dedicated mother of a newborn son, Kingston. No doubt getting up to feed at 4 in the morning. Wouldn't surprise me if they put her up for sainthood soon.


Dude, are you dissing my wife?!
Me, I'm still waiting for the raunchy bits. Not sure exactly what kinda wild, uninhibited parties they expect during the concert but here's what the religious zealots have to say.

This concert does not bring any good to Malaysians except invite youngsters to enjoy themselves, mix around too freely, get drunk and commit sins.

And this from a sanctimonious soul who hasn't even gone to a concert ( poor sad deprived thing ), much less heard of poor Gwen. Not sure exactly what's going on in her singularly close-minded brain but no doubt she imagines salacious activities not seen since Caligula's infamous orgies at the Roman Baths.

Seriously though, Malaysian concerts are as tame as they come. By and large, Malaysians are still a conservative, law-abiding lot. And if any are tempted to stray but a little, not only are there prudish Victorian rules aplenty governing our behaviour, there are also burly guards waiting to enforce them. Hell it's practically as safe as a Sunday sermon in a select seminary.

Been to half a dozen concerts in my time and I have yet to watch youngsters getting crazy drunk and committing so-called sins at a concert ( though I'm not sure exactly what sins they are talking about ). I doubt anyone forks out a big chunk of their allowance just to get drunk, stoned and grope each other at a concert. And is there something terribly wrong with allowing wholesome youngsters to enjoy themselves and mix freely? Am I to assume that we've all brought them up so badly that we can't even trust their judgement for one night?

Then shouldn't the adults take the blame for shoddy parenting?

Seriously, go watch over your own moral values. Obviously after years of child psychology, they have learnt nothing about teen rebellion since all this moral guardianship only makes me wanna go bad. Talk about winding me up.

So come next week when Gwen comes by, my cousins will be tarted up in their sluttiest Harajuku inspired nymphette outfits trying to outdo each other in licentious wanton behaviour whlie waving around spiked beer bottles. Saint Wicked will drive them over, all clad in orange tanktop, pierced belly button and possibly tattooed arms.

Maybe I'll even smoke a joint.

Then again I might save it for Beyonce in November.