Saturday, August 04, 2007

Death and Murder in Beijing

Seriously. Left on their own, some people start having the oddest misconceptions.

Paul : It's not that far away.
Calvin : Die because of heat stroke, die because of food poisoning, die because of murder, die because of plane crash. You'll never see me again.

He's not talking about riding a rickety, barely serviceable helicopter to some backward, underdeveloped third world banana republic in Central Asia ( is there even a fourth world? ) where savage marauders roam the lawless cities gunning down innocent bystanders. And if they're not relentlessly hunted down and shot like unfortunate stray dogs, the ill-fated population inevitably sicken and die after being poisoned by the local paramecium floating about the sewage spillage ( or would that be radioactive wastes? ).

No. My man is talking about Beijing.

Before all ye patriotic Chinese countrymen rush to take up cudgels in defence of your country, take a chill pill and just relax first. Let me finish. Calvin doesn't mean that at all. Like any sensible fellow ( unlike senseless folks like me ), he has the jitters about going to a foreign land - hence the outlandish improbabilities popping up in his overimaginative head.

By the window
It's getting hot in here...

Okay. Maybe the heat stroke isn't so unlikely with temperatures soaring up to an unreasonably hellish 40 C.

And yeah I'm five hundred miles away, hence his increasing despondency.

11 comments:

Ryan said...

What? You're leaving for Beijing? Or already in Beijing? Beijing is not that bad, isn't it? Is there a war? No right?!

Vengelyne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vengelyne said...

No distance is far when there are internet and telephone!

nyonyapenang said...

enjoy your Beijing!

Queer Ranter said...

I'm sure he'll do fine there. :)

Alway the over imaginative one Legolas is. :P

coolgardy said...

Beware of Chinese food from China, very oily...and tasteless at times.

jj said...

beijing?
who is going to beijing?
but it's always good to explore new things.
why u worried about beijing? anyway beijing is full of a lot of hunky guys. watch out of it

savante said...

Wait you guys! He's in Beijing. I'm not there yet!

Lifebook said...

He is not happy leh when I sent him to the airport!! You better think of doing something cheer him up when you arrived there.

Reyville of Simply Manila said...

The picture's hot. He should never try to be near me. HeHe.

Jason said...

Poor er... Legolas.