Friday, October 19, 2012

Nine Yin Manual

For readers of martial arts novels - and ardent followers of the wuxia television serials, an amusing literary trope frequently used would be the misinterpretation of ancient manuals, usually born out of duplicity, resulting in dementia, dismemberment or death.

Such as the infamously coveted Nine Yin Manual 九阴真经 from the peerless Condor Heroes Trilogy. Misinterpretation of the scrolls and scriptures coupled with astute revision successfully turns one of the main villains quite certifiably insane. Blame it on the yin yang going out of whack.

Certainly not for the faint of heart.

Which is why martial arts manuals shouldn't be taken lightly. A valuable lesson ill-received by an obstinate Charming Calvin who undertook the Nine Yin Manual desperately hoping to reduce his rising cholesterol levels. After a hard day's work, he would make his way to a faraway hidden temple to recite the sublime verses and practice the moves he learnt. Thought he would have learnt from his broken toe that aggressive martial arts just doesn't mesh well with his phlegmatic nature.

Calvin : Might as well down another cup of wine if nothing else is working!

So after months of endless repeated routines such as the Rhino-Stomp Body Pump and Lotus Blossom Body Jams, Calvin decided to put his burgeoning skills to the test. 

Calvin : OMG I think the cholesterol levels are getting worse.
Paul : Alarming you mean. 
Calvin : But how can this be! I have been practising my kungfu religiously!  
Paul : Probably read the manuals wrongly. Or had it misinterpreted. 
Calvin : It can't be!
Paul : Maybe your wicked enemies have been sabotaging your attempts!
Calvin : This is not a wuxia movie!

That's what he thinks. 


William said...

What he fails to understand is that to be a Kung Fu master, one has to FALL down a cliff, FIND the manual and PRACTICE it religiously until one is able to fly out

savante said...

Sounds like he's already fallen down that cliff! Now to climb back up, william.