Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Through the Looking Glass

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son,
the jaws that bite and claws that scratch
Beware the jubjub bird
and shun the frumious bandersnatch."

Fear what lies beyond the looking glass for things never look quite the same.

No doubt a frightfully frightening little Victorian novel that played quite a large part in Madame Borgia's tormented girlhood. Always wondering if something otherworldly and sinister remained waiting on the other side. Or perhaps the fear that her eternal soul be forever caught in the twisted imperfect reflections. Whatever the reason - ever since then, mirrors, no matter how small or insignificant, even the slightest shard of glass, brings a barely concealed shudder from the redoubtable Madame Borgia.


Something Charming Calvin conveniently forgot about his sainted mother. Since during the original renovation of Pemberley, a relatively sizeable mirror was placed right in front of the main entrance. Large as life to her, bold and bright with a border of dazzling white. Didn't take but a brief dramatic minute for a horrified Madame Borgia to stare aghast at her lifelong nemesis, let out a faint unrestrained shriek before falling heedless to the unforgiving tiles at the sight of it.

Hartshorn and rose water was needed to revive her. Citing fabricated feng shui reasons for the immediate removal of the offending object, her dutiful son Charming Calvin had no choice but to comply with her shamelessly distraught requests - lest she fall into an agitated swoon again.

The son finds the way to defeat his mother. 

It was then that I began to hear whispered tales of Madame Borgia furtively plastering up mirrors around the family compound to hide them all from view. Even mirrored reflections in still pools of water were deemed unholy to her eyes. Rumours of latent vampirism and black magic rumbled amongst the fearful servants.

Unbeknownst to most, the object of her scorn - now known to all as Calvin's Disobliging Mirror - remained quietly ensconced in a darkened corner of Pemberley away from the prying eyes of all, especially the all-knowing ones of Madame Borgia. I started thinking of having it subsequently restored to the powder room.

But to no avail.

Calvin : In her near deranged search throughout the apartments, my mother finally found the mirror. 
Paul : Wasn't it already placed face down on the floor in the store room with a multitude of religious talismans at guard?
Calvin : That didn't stop her from finding it.
Paul : Shades of Alice. Told you she would have sensed the supernatural aura. 
Calvin : While I was away, she had it immediately dragged out to the recycling centre for disposal. 
Paul : Never suffer a mirror to live. 
Calvin : I shall purchase an even larger one, one so large that she wouldn't be able to move it.

Obviously her son doesn't share her fear of mirrors.

And now I have found her secret weakness. 


Vincent~ said...

I know setting up mirrors in the front of a corridor/doorway is a big feng shui no no.

But every mirror? I think she doesnt really want to be reminded how much she has aged. ==

Tom said...

I do know that mirrors in the bedroom facing the bed is no good, but mirrors in the dining room can help the family to prosper.

ooi2009 said...

im not sexy !

matt said...

always, always carry a small mirror to meetings with your mother-in-law! you never know when you'll need to whip it out.

savante said...

Think the sight of wrinkles could be a factor, vincent. But why remove the mirror in a house that doesn't belong to you?

Knew that as well but that mirror was in the bathroom, tom!

Why not, ooi!

To scare her away, matt? :)