As always, should you or any of your IM force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.
Such an intriguing mission impossible which is why Agent Piratin Patty and I were all eager to offer our services. After all you don't get all that many chances to bamboozle the in-laws!
You see, Charming Calvin had some important documents pertaining to his new apartment - the aforementioned Pemberley - sealed in the family safe back home. Bonds, shares, accounts and the financial like. In order to keep the buyout a secret from his prying family, Calvin had to retrieve the documents without exciting suspicion.
Paul : Are you sure you can do it alone? I fear your mother has a scheme in place!
Before he could recruit our services however, our intrepid fellow decided to attempt the mission on his own. Though I had my doubts in his powers of concealment.
No doubt clad all in mysterious black to suit the occasion, Calvin stole across the compound, evading the vicious guard dogs, to slip into his parents' bedroom - even as they were safely away in the other corner of the house. What follows afterward I can only imagine. But I can already see our daring thief slipping down a rope from the ceiling to access the shockingly well-protected safe - where temperature, sound and touch would set off the sensitive alarms.
Of course our modest hero would never admit to such.
Paul : So how did you bypass the alarms?
Calvin : Just opened the cupboard and dialed the code lo.
Paul : Then it opened? No booby traps? No security guards?
Calvin : Uhh.. no?
Seemed like a fait accompli to me.
Though our team hadn't reckoned on simple witchcraft. On his cunning mother's part. Always knew Madame Borgia had some wicked tricks up her sleeves. With scrying spells and talking mirrors on her dark side, is it any wonder that she always appears at the most inopportune moments?
Paul : Beneath that simple countrywoman disguise there is EVIL!
Giving us barely any time to breathe a sigh of relief. Just as Calvin was boarding the plane with the documents safe in his pocket, his sainted mama came up to him and whispered.
Madame Borgia : Come here, child. I have something to tell you.
Calvin : Yes, mama?
Madame Borgia : I know what you did last weekend. My eyes, they see all!
Spooky I tell ya.