Sunday, October 14, 2012

National Coming Out Day

Despite what you might hear from our hysterical news media, generally guys are straight from the get go. Though the headline-hungry honchos might claim that almost everyone's turning gay these days, homosexuality isn't actually infectious.

Heterosexuality is still very much the norm. Hence the act of coming out to friends and family; a significant event fraught with emotional and spiritual anguish in every gay man's life. Not only is it a crucial life choice to make but only a fortunate few find themselves in a position to do so without fear of acrimony or hostility.

Though said often enough that it has turned into a schmaltzy cliche, I would willingly attest to the fact that the act of coming out has truly lifted a wearisome burden from my shoulders. No second-guessing myself, no switching pronouns. No more hiding, no more pretending. Basically it's about being honest, not only with ourselves but with the people that we care about.

But there's only so much coming out we can take before it gets a tad burdensome. Unfortunately having the deplorable ( and entirely slanderous! ) homosexual guidelines readily available doesn't mean coming out hasn't become a regular necessity.

But is there actually a suitable time and place to proclaim our aberrant sexuality? Can't very well make the gay song-and-dance announcement moments after the obligatory meet-and-greet handshake. Can't very well say hello, I'm gay in between dinner courses. Perhaps one day proper etiquette would recommend proclaiming it after a fabulous dessert!

Paul : BTW I'm gay.
Friend : I know. You told me last week.
Paul : Shit. I did?
Friend : And I already guessed before. 

Honestly there's hardly ever a good time - so I'll readily admit to missing out more than a few friends in the irksome process of coming out. Fortunately Shameless Shalom has taken it upon herself to act as my avid spokesperson.

Tina : So tell me, is Paul still single? Is he seeing anyone? 
Shalom : Is this like the hundredth time you're asking?
Tina : Not really. But is he? 
Shalom : Well it's the hundredth time I'm getting the question but..
Tina : Is he seeing that girl?
Shalom : No he isn't.
Tina : So he is seeing some other girl?
Shalom : No he isn't.
Tina : So he is single? 
Shalom : No he isn't.
Tina : So what?
Shalom : Aiyo he's gay! He's gay! 

No longer do I have to shoulder the particular burden of gay notification. If anyone has any impertinent queries about my sexuality, I can now refer them to an ever-accomodating Shalom - who is now officially anointed as the Keeper of My BTW I'm Gay Cards.

A timely blog post especially with National Coming Out Day just a few days past  - an annual observation to celebrate coming out and to raise awareness of the LGBT community and civil rights movement. Wonder if they have booths selling little pink closet ornaments with doors flinging merrily open at the touch of a button followed by the thumpa thumpa beats of a suitable gay torch song such as YMCA or We Are Family .


thompsonboy said...

My only bone to pick as always is about gay people who complain about the people around them being homophobic, thats because you are not out to show that some of us can be functioning member of the society and instead keeping numb - in a way agreeing to what they are saying. So don't complain!

savante said...

Agreed thompson boy, but I guess that's part of the fear of coming out. Never know what's going to happen.