Saturday, June 30, 2012

Return to Southfork

Whenever the suspenseful thrumming theme of Dallas plays in the night, I knew that it was getting late and I should be getting to bed. After all, I was only a primary schoolkid during the glamorous heyday of Southfork with all the wild machinations of the wicked oil barons and sly ranchers - and the scandalous soap opera only came on at the children-unfriendly hour of ten pm.

But my mother was an avid fan obsessed with the shockingly dramatic lives of the Ewings, a wealthy Texas family in the oil and rattle-ranching industries, as they lived through suicides, murders, theft, betrayals etc. And even one prolonged dream sequence with an infamously parodied shower scene. All the elements of a beloved soap opera in the Eighties.

Nothing lasts forever though and the Ewings faded into the obscurity when power-hungry dynasties fell out of favour with the capricious television audience. For my mom, a horrific gaping void barely filled with neverending Korean drama serials.

So it was with some delight that I announced to her the return of the Ewings.

Yes, JR Ewing, that mean heartless bastard is still up to his old tricks - something his surprisingly hot son John Ross seems all too keen to emulate. Apparently a crafty chip off the old block, John Ross seems to be quite as ruthless as his father ever was.

Fortunately on the other side of the coin there's Bobby Ewing, the long-suffering altruistic paragon of the family, batting for the good guys. This time around with his equally commendable son Christopher lending a hand as they try to save the family ranch Southfork from the duplicitous machinations of their treacherous relatives.

Who would much prefer to drill the ranch land for oil.

Ewing cousins at war!

And that's the basic plot as the Ewing brothers / cousins fight tooth and nail over the deed to Southfork. Let's not count in the fake identities, blackmails and espionage just yet.

Gotta say they sure grow them pretty down there in Texas. This time around they definitely picked far more attractive actors to play the starring roles. Of course I would prefer the sexy Ewing cousins to make love rather than war but I doubt the redneck television audience would be quite as receptive. Well, we can always wait for a gay porn spoof of Dallas.

Pretty sure the young gay chicks born this side of the Eighties and the Nineties would have no idea what the hell I'm going on about. :)


ooi2009 said...

yum , u can drill me anytime !

savante said...

Would prefer Christopher Ewing though!