Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Marshall Moves Maniacally

If all goes according to plan - and all the gay planets align in proper tandem, there should be a significant increase in the number of Grindr playmates active in this area code by the end of the month. At least the ravenous chicken hawks here would finally have some new meat to satiate their collective cravings.

Though it would take some kicking and screaming on the chick's part to make the trip here. An old colleague of mine, Mercurial Marshall, has been handed his final marching orders - to transfer from his workplace in the East Coast of Malaysia - and it seems his next posting just might be here across the Big Puddle. In the minds of the administrators, a footloose, fancy-free bachelor like him would of course be assigned to the farthest possible station! Much to his growing horror.

OMG Where the hell is this place!

Like all long-time city dwellers ignorant about anything beyond ten miles of the city limits, I had expected Marshall's immediate concern to be the fear of losing all the civilized creature comforts we're used to in the bustling metropolis. After all, it's hard not to develop some erroneous misconceptions about the tropical jungle paradise of Borneo with so little information given about the urban areas. Hell, I expected to be living on generator-powered electricity and brackish well water.  

I was wrong however.

Paul : Don't worry. Though I wouldn't call it a city, the place is really well developed with all the amenities you'd expect in a city. 
Marshall : Don't really care about all that! What about my social life!
Paul : Social life?
Marshall : The boys! The men!
Paul : Oh you mean them.
Marshall : Will I ever get laid again?
Paul : No need to get so melodramatic. It's only a two year stint.
Marshall : It's so far away! Are there guys around?
Paul : Can't be much worse than where you're coming from. 

He certainly has a unique set of priorities.

The man is practically beside himself in rising hysteria at the impending loss of his fabulous gay life.

Though I certainly don't see what Marshall's losing since he's been in an even more desolate backwater for the past few years. Come on, the super conservative East Coast with the overabundance of intolerant religious mullahs can't exactly be a hotbed of gaydom. Doubt there's anyone to even hook up with on Grindr - for fear of being hounded by the irate locals with flaming pitchforks.

Certainly more choice for the discerning gay man here. Should I tell him that Fabulous Felix gets more than his share of sweet, sweet man-loving even here in the boondocks? 


A.D. said...

It seems a change is not on everyones mind.

savante said...

Admittedly quite a terrifying change :) But to worry about the lack of men?


Anonymous Esq. said...

Oh. I . See. I've heard of many guys raving mad about the backwaters on the other side of the Big Puddle - but for other more orthodox reasons. It's interesting that he's worried about other 'facilities' instead. And to think that it is the first thing he thought of...well, whoa!

JokerPJ said...

The lack of men~ oh dear~

two years... for the good of mankind~ still thats a sacrifice~

savante said...

I know! Never even occurred to me when I first transferred here, anon!