Monday, June 18, 2012

Picture Imperfect

Back in the old days, they used to say that the camera would steal your soul.

Which makes it hardly a surprise that folks captured in turn-of-the-century black-and-white studio photos seem almost daunted by this strangely uncommon event; what with their backs held ramrod straight, their arms uncomfortably stiff at their sides and their eyes opened unnaturally wide in sheer panic.

Certainly no cutesy 10 Asian Poses back then.

Hard to blame them. No doubt it is something encoded in the genes of my camera-shy ancestors which is why I usually fumble when I see a flashy Nikon coming by. Who knows, it really might steal my soul!

Which explains why I am unfortunately the sad equivalent of Kristen Stewart - someone quite incapable of mustering up more than one facial expression when the camera goes click. Other than her signature world-weary blasé expression suggesting mind-numbing boredom.

Of course pictures of me usually show me looking suspiciously at the camera instead. With a hint of barely repressed  resentment.

Care to take a picture?

Reason enough I don't actually own a camera. Apart from the fact that I usually look horrid in pictures ( and yes, in real life as well ), I seem to have only one particular angry pose. Seems a waste of my time to take a half dozen pictures when I might as well just photoshop that face onto different scenes - don't think anyone could tell the difference!

Unlike some of my friends whose faces seem shockingly Jim-Carrey like with mobile, changing facial expressions with every second snap of the camera. Even animated cartoon characters couldn't compete with them. Or even vanity fairs who take a hundred quick shots of themselves just to find the perfect angle and light that catches them in their best position.

Even my usually reticent brother has a camera-ready 1000-watts smile with all his shiny teeth flashing. 


Kayson said...

so modest. post a pic and we'll judge ! :3

savante said...

Wearing a phantom mask perhaps, kayson!