Friday, June 08, 2012

Seven Layered Face

Fellas, just drop that bar of soap you're thinking about using on your face.

Even straight guys these days should already know that plain soap and water isn't all that good for facial cleansing. But only blithely slapping on some cleanser and toner doesn't do the trick these days. No, it's time to move on to the seven wonders of facial products.

Yes, seven. I was shocked myself.

Seven? Dammit, I'm sure I missed a layer. Does toothpaste count?

Though I would like to think that the magic number seven comes from a mystical scroll full of beauty secrets recently found in a pristine virgin jungle somewhere, it actually comes from the perfectly moistened lips of Beauty Bryan.

Paul : Did you just say seven?
Bryan : Yes, I usually sleep at night with seven layers. 
Paul : OMG. You have seven layers of skin products on your face every night?
Bryan : Of course. Wait... you don't?
Paul : I can barely make it through two. 
Bryan : Well, it's cleansing, then toning. Then I put on some treatment essences, followed by a serum and a moisturiser. If it's the day time, I might add some sunscreen and BB cream. But if it's night time, I'd dab on some eye cream and more moisturiser.
Paul : OMG you're a fucking geisha!

Obviously the sadly inadequate skincare regime I have in hand is totally all wrong. Certainly nothing to be compared with what Bryan, our newly christened official skincare ambassador has been doing all this while! No doubt he has the dewy facial complexion of a newborn infant.

But seriously, with that many prehistoric layers of products on, wouldn't they just slide off one another seismic-shift style? Are there occasional toner eruptions? Had the disturbing image of the poor bewildered skin cells cowering under the relentless onslaught of a veritable tsunami of skincare products as toner, lotion and moisturizer battle for supremacy.


♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ said...

Urgh. Now I need to see a dermatologist. Wonder how may layers I need on my skin.

Leo Nut said...

Is 7 layers.. Really necessary?..
Sounds scary.. lol, i go with only 3 cause its a 3 step thing i'm trying out.. lol

Tempus said...

THAT is WAYYYYY too thick!

I only have 3 day and night! Same ones somemore!

That's because my skin sensitive like women on pms.

rotiboy said...

Oh I feel so unprotected... I only use 3, if you count cleansing as one of them. Day and night.

thompsonboy said...

rfuser39and I thought 2faced is bad enough

GVP said...

Seven is ways too much.
But I started counting and got five - cleanser, toner, acne gel, moisturiser and serum. Hmm, I can blame my sister because she introduced to them :x