Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Steam Rooms

Just a brief mention of steam baths in front of a gaggle of genteel gay gentlemen and you'll get the usual knowing snickers followed by suggestive winks. Though steamy affairs in bathhouses were apparently quietly clandestine in the more intolerant past, these days bathhouses have gained a much-deserved notoriety for the baser pleasures amongst my gay brethren.

Despite the obvious carnal delights of anonymous sex readily available, I have never fancied steam baths. After all why stew maddeningly in the sweltering heat of an enclosed room when I can do pretty much the same in my boiling car during our maddening lunch hour traffic!

And honestly getting covered in sticky sweat isn't my idea of fun at all. Far too fastidious for that.

Worst of all... yes dammit, I can't wear my glasses in a steam room for obvious reasons - lens gets all fogged up - so I have to blunder in nearly blind. And that's without the foggy steam further obscuring my already impaired vision so you can imagine me stumbling around the darkened steam room searching for a space to meditate.

Praying to God I don't fall into someone's lap.

Gonna make you sweat!

So you can imagine how I greeted the announcement that a steam room would be added to the gym. Studiously ignored the clouds of steam wafting out from the darkened corridors each time I walked by. Till the day I saw the cute, incredibly fit muay thai instructor wandering in.

Dressed only in a teensy white towel with briefs in hand.

Since I'd already caught our fair Kick-ass Ken twice in wet black briefs, I knew he looked especially scrumptious. So seriously, how could I not follow? Sure Kick-ass Ken might be hopelessly straight but I can still drool in lustful admiration. Hell I practically tumbled off the exercise bike in the hurry to pursue. Work has necessitated a certain expediency to our actions so changing clothes didn't take very long.

Unfortunately when I got in, I realized I was practically blind. Sure I could see the fit fellow lounging on the seats but it was so blurry, I might as well be staring at a Monet up close.

Fark. I need contacts.

1 comment:

Tempus said...

come on lets sign up for LASIK together! I've been dying to get one cause glasses seemed to get in my way all the time!

Fogged up + short sightedness

= blind.