Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Gay Action Party

Mind the GAP.

Yes, ongoing disillusionment with our political system has had us dreaming up a party of our own. Although I do want to participate in the electoral process, I simply cannot identify with any of the parties involved. Too corrupt, too untried, too religiously orthodox etc.

And ye Gods, just too much mud-slinging. Even our favourite backbiting Gossip Girl would be horrified at their sadly wretched attempts to discredit each other. Seriously bitchy high school divettes could do better. I know politics can get downright dirty but surely we don't have to resort to such slimy low-down practices!

Which is how Lanky Lex and I mused about creating a Gay Action Party to rise above it all. After all, if our shrewd Kinsey had it right, there should be a significant 10% of the population throwing their pink votes our way. Let's not forget our trusty crew of fag hags and PFLAG buddies all ready to lend a hand - or even a vote.

So why the GAP? Thought of other names of course but they never seemed quite right.

Lex : How about United Gay National Organization.
Paul : UGNO. Ugh, no.
Lex : Malaysian Gay Association?
Paul : MGA? Maybe.
LEx : FOund the best! Gay Action Party.
Paul : Gap is perfect. Fill the Gap would be our motto.
Lex : With an ironic phallic symbol as our logo.
Paul : Or perhaps a rooster.

At least with the appallingly obvious name of the party, you'll know exactly the kind of sordid buggery acts the upstanding members are all interested in so there shouldn't be too much dirt to dig up on. After all, every filthy cum-stained rag is already displayed right there out in the open!

And in the eyes of the ultra-religious conservatives, surely it can't get worse than two homos committing butt-fucking sodomy on a semi-regular basis. Murder, corruption and money laundering is alright but domestic cockfighting is a definite no-no.

David Gandy
Sometimes the sheer stupidity of their inane comments can be an insult to my pained ears.

Which of course brings us to our main aim which would be to repeal the execrable Section 377a of the Penal Code that criminalises sex between mutually consenting adult men. Apart from that, we'll have our noble motives of fighting for a mutual and just society, more equity between rich and poor etc.

Honestly do ordinary laypeople actually listen to our political platforms anymore? Or do they just vote blindly according to whichever beneficent party flings out more goodies at the expense of competent governance?


So to avoid getting permanently embittered wrinkles from our collective frustration with the politics in the country, our Gay Action Party members will usually adjourn to our weekly meetings with dainty cupcakes, tasty sweetmeats and free-flow long island tea. Not to mention regular spa sessions. And if that all fails, we have our sexy nubile PAs, mostly chosen based on their extraordinary physiques rather than their typing skills, gyrate sensually on the meeting tables in their colourful undies showcasing our party slogans while the rest of us members slip their significant paycheques in between the straps of their briefs.

At least we're honest about our proclivities, our deficiencies and what we stand for. Rather than hide behind a thin mask of multiculturalism only to promote wildly racist, discriminatory policies that continually saps the nation of its wealth. Now doesn't this seem like a party you can vote for?

Obviously - unless we manage to find shockingly wealthy sponsors - all of the above is purely conjecture and mostly tongue-in-cheek.


Tempus said...

you know what I found stupid? the BN actually claims that the opposition fight for everything which are wrong eg lgtb rights, sodomy law, and what not.

pffft, that's only going to work on kampung arses man.

rotiboy said...

I'll join this party if it is founded!

ooi2009 said...

i want this party is all the bloggers can be in their bday suits !

DeluSion said...

Paul : Or perhaps a rooster.

*Burst out laughing.*

Throw every man who's had oral sex in jail. Repeal or prosecute!

Alex said...

We will always less talk and more action!

savante said...

Unfortunately with our wonderfully just election commission, the delineation of electoral districts favour the kampung folks, tempus. So it's better to register in the interior regions where your vote counts for more.

Ah, good... we have five members now, rotiboy! :P

Doubt you'd actually want to see me in my birthday suit, ooi! Maybe after the elective liposuction okay :P

Think it's actually a symbol for independent candidates to choose, delusion!

Definitely, lex!