Cain : Oh yeah you can do it.
Abel : It's too hard. I can't take it anymore.
Cain : Almost all in! Push it, push it.
Abel : Oh God, this is painful!
Cain : You're near the end! Oh yeah. Harder!
Liberally interspersed with lusty moans and groans that wouldn't be out of place in a surprisingly spirited scene straight out of illicit pornography.
Let's be honest, I'll admit I'm a sucker for little deep-throated moan and groan. Having a reticent partner lying dead in bed like an unresponsive cold fish can be highly uninspiring. There's nothing quite like an involuntary moan from a frustrated lover ( tied up? ) brought temptingly close to the edge to arouse the senses.
But that's in the relative privacy of the bedroom.
Certainly not in the wide-open, shared space of the gymnasium.
Fellow : You mean you'd prefer me to keep quiet?
Paul : Unless you'd prefer to be bound and gagged at my mercy?
Fellow : Umm...
Yet you'll find quite a few of these burly fellows reenacting exhaustive scenes from gay porn right beside the machines and the bench press. Yes, I mean the hardcore weight lifters. If I keep my eyes well shut, the hearty sounds I hear wouldn't be out of place on the soundtrack of red-blooded Japanese gay porn sans the words iku and kimochi sprinkled into the gratifyingly vocal conversation.
Look, I know lifting heavy weights can be an awful pain but surely it can't be as agonizing as a pregnant mother wailing in the tormented throes of labour. Because honestly that's what the moans and groans sound like!
And I doubt anything can be quite as painful as heaving nine pounds of healthy baby out of your spasm-wracked body.
Alright, it's a free space, and certainly not a library, so some leeway should be expected. Express yourself if you must. Handling a deadlift and the variations thereof with a little bit of huff and puff is quite acceptable - but screeching high enough to wake the neighbours isn't. Unless you're actually reenacting gay porn whereupon I shall drop everything to be an accomodating observer.
And voluntary fluffer if need be.
Just my gripe of the week. Might as well get headphones.