Friday, September 16, 2011

Haunted House Horrors

Never speak ill of the dead.

Don't walk along cemeteries at night.

Never pick up strangers after midnight.

Horror movie cliches that have been rehashed so often in grisly sequels that even the most sensible of us would think twice about attempting such senselessly foolhardy measures. In the safety of our homes, we watch these foolish yet reckless protagonists meander through forbidding forests at midnight, after being warned repeatedly not to do so, and then later seek the dubious shelter of a dark, creepy mansion where mysterious deaths have reputedly occurred.

And we think 'Oh God, how stupid.' Even more so when the band of adventuresome spirits decide to investigate the mysteries of said dark mansion. Rather than believe in safety in numbers, they all go separately and alone.

Call!
Harry says Bring It On!

Believe it or not, folks actually do so in real life. I give you Harry Huevos and his hapless heroes. Though seemingly full of macho bravado at least outwardly, Harry has an inexplicable fear of the supernatural that we couldn't fathom at first. Wicked things that go bump in the night scare the bejeezus out of him. Quite the bewildering sight on such a strapping fellow.

So on one dark campfire night, we all ganged up to drag the sorry tale out of him.

Harry : I once got trapped in a haunted house.
Paul : In a funfair?
Harry : No, a real one. My friends and I were camping.
Paul : Don't tell me it rained and you had to seek shelter.
Harry : Oh yes! How did you know? We found an abandoned old mansion on the outskirts of the jungle.
Paul : Abandoned for decades? Overgrown with weeds? Window shutters all broken? Rumours of a death?
Harry : Yes!
Paul : And you still went in?
Harry : Umm. Yes?
Paul : Good God. Don't tell me you also split into small groups to check out the place?
Harry : Umm. Yes?

Apparently such hoary horror movie cliches are based on true-life stories.

3 comments:

ıǝɹɯɐı said...

haha. this made me laugh so hard.

William said...

So I'm guessing one of the girls in the group decided to strip into her underwear and start roaming the house too?

savante said...

And it's all real, ıǝɹɯɐı :)

Bet she did, william. They even tried saying prayers over the possessed girl but it didn't work cause they messed up the prayer!

P