Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Built Tough

I like my men tough.

Certainly don't mean that in a morbidly cannibalistic sense that I'd prefer them tenderized in a bubbling stew pot for a protracted period. Just means that I like my men tough - duly defined in the dictionary as highly durable, resilient and able to stoically endure hardship.

Not that the gals I know aren't tough-as-nails broads. Our mean girl of the east Piratin Patty is certainly proof of that.

Far from a slur on womanhood of course - but generally most girls are a teensy bit more fragile in comparison. A little less given to rowdy rough-housing than most of the boys I know. Just a light tap on the back is enough to floor them whereas the macho fellas I know hail me with hearty back thumps as a general greeting.

Just our regular hail-fellow-well-met!

Something I'm trying my best to refrain from practising at work.

Nurse : Morning doctor!
Paul : Hello. *backslap*
Nurse : Ouch. I think you just severed my spine.
Paul : That was only a little tap.
Nurse : Could you help me hobble to my workstation please? I need to grab the neck brace.
Paul : Really?
Nurse : I think I left a rib behind. Pick it up, will you?

Yes, I can be inadvertently rough.

That's why I like my partners a little hardy. With some solidity to 'em! Otherwise how to keep from breaking 'em!

So you can imagine how fearful I am to have female partners at my dance classes. Not only am I already wracked with nerves while minding my clumsy steps, I also have to make sure that my fearful death-grip doesn't snap their delicate fingers and my crushing embrace doesn't break their willowy backs. Or else my vigorous swinging doesn't cause the winsome waifs to slip out of my admittedly slippery grasp to go slamming into nearby mirrored walls.

Or even worse sail helplessly straight out of the studio balcony.


Fortunately for the female population of the city, I actually have Harry Huevos as my dance partner most days. No need to handle with care here! Far from subscribing to the frailty level of skinny androgynous boys these days, Harry is short, compact and built tough to withstand my wild gyrations.


Booker said...

I'm tough, let's dance!

Anonymous said...



Razlan said...

You write well. You dance.

Oh my.

ooi2009 said...

get a life booker , he is mine , im tough ! perhaps u can join us for a threeway>?

savante said...

Ooh let's dance, Booker!

Helix, can you dance?

Don't be fooled! I dance so badly, razlan!

Booker's a girl, ooi! :)


Anonymous said...

Simple Waltz and Quick Step, plus slow glide or steps across the room, I need a partner!