Unlike me. Growing up in the closet has turned me into something akin to a devious Cold War intelligence agent hiding deep undercover in the unassuming suburbs, always trying to blend in with the heteronormative crowd while nervously concealing that hush hush secret. Though I've gradually crept out of the closet, I still find it hard to abandon such old ingrained habits of deception.
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!
Mom : That's a whole lotta stuff in your closet!
Trying to untangle the web of lies gets a bit complex when you have a similarly cryptic mother. Each time my brother and I have worked out that she already knows, she suddenly backtracks only to leave us fumbling. Does she know? Doesn't she know? Given up on the pretense entirely though so I just fumble along while waiting for her to pop the question.
Never one to wait patiently, I tend to suggest dozens of gay melodramas for her hoping to needle her for the question. Including recently sending a Korean family drama called Life is Beautiful which includes a gay doctor amongst the multi-generational cast.
Then today my mother sends me this odd message.
Mother : Shedding loads of tears over how a family handles a gay son in Life is Beautiful.
Paul : Huh.
Unlike my semi-obtuse brother ( and similarly oblivious boyfriend ), I tend to read much more into words and actions, digging to find a deeper meaning. Even when there's none.
However my mom, like me, has always been particularly deliberate in what she does. Surely that encoded message didn't come from out of the blue. So does my mother mean she understands and empathizes with what I'm going through? Or is she busy weeping because the family has been plagued with the horribly shameful spectre of homosexuality?
Or that she just likes weeping over Korean melodramas even when it's mainly about gay issues.