Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Web of Lies

My brother is a straightforward kinda fellow. Literally what you see is what you get. Says what he means, means what he says. Very little duplicity or subterfuge of any kind in his everyday actions.

Unlike me. Growing up in the closet has turned me into something akin to a devious Cold War intelligence agent hiding deep undercover in the unassuming suburbs, always trying to blend in with the heteronormative crowd while nervously concealing that hush hush secret. Though I've gradually crept out of the closet, I still find it hard to abandon such old ingrained habits of deception.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!

Prodigal
Mom : That's a whole lotta stuff in your closet!

Trying to untangle the web of lies gets a bit complex when you have a similarly cryptic mother. Each time my brother and I have worked out that she already knows, she suddenly backtracks only to leave us fumbling. Does she know? Doesn't she know? Given up on the pretense entirely though so I just fumble along while waiting for her to pop the question.

Never one to wait patiently, I tend to suggest dozens of gay melodramas for her hoping to needle her for the question. Including recently sending a Korean family drama called Life is Beautiful which includes a gay doctor amongst the multi-generational cast.

Then today my mother sends me this odd message.

Mother : Shedding loads of tears over how a family handles a gay son in Life is Beautiful.
Paul : Huh.

Unlike my semi-obtuse brother ( and similarly oblivious boyfriend ), I tend to read much more into words and actions, digging to find a deeper meaning. Even when there's none.

However my mom, like me, has always been particularly deliberate in what she does. Surely that encoded message didn't come from out of the blue. So does my mother mean she understands and empathizes with what I'm going through? Or is she busy weeping because the family has been plagued with the horribly shameful spectre of homosexuality?


Or that she just likes weeping over Korean melodramas even when it's mainly about gay issues.

10 comments:

J-boy said...

'A mother always knows'

(Gosh, I wonder if my mum knows. LOL)
:P

Le Chatelier said...

Here's an idea, tell yr mom everything about yr gay life starting like "Mom, u know what, I have a friend who likes guys...blah blah blah... what do think?"

Tempus said...

Hmm I'll bet my mum doesn't know at all. She keeps on thinking I'm seeing this girl who I hangout with a lot.But on the other hand, my sisters are like homo-sensors, and they keep giving warning signs to my mum. Sheesh, gotta keep things low before I get my own house.

Ban said...

She's still a woman. So my vote would go to her liking to weep over korean dramas.

Mr.D said...

perhaps she's waiting for you to break it to her hence the subtle hints?

gv it a try. =)

StevieB said...

Mom just has good taste, those guys are cute.

savante said...

Hope she does actually, Jboy :)

At least theoretically she is quite supportive, le chatelier. Though she still calls them 'those gay men'.

Siblings know even earlier, tempus. At least my brother did without telling.

Starting to believe that might be true, ban.

So many hints have been given you wouldn't believe, d!

Gotta agree with that. The Korean boys are cute, stevieb.

P

quicksilverlining said...

the last one.

joshua87 said...

absolutely love the k-drama. quite an ending for kyungsoo and taesub given the fact that it's a korean family drama. way better than the current season of brothers and sisters. most prob your mom is waiting for you to tell her?

joshua said...

i am strongly convinced of the last line.

but hey, mums always knows. haha point derived from my mum. HAHA