Happy Heineken Haze

Not me obviously. Not only am I not a big fan of beer, I'm usually elected the designated driver.

And come on, when you're drunk past the age of thirty, it gets increasingly sad.

As it turns out - according to our 10 Steps for Post-Break Up Closure - it has apparently reached the point of alcoholic bingeing for Fabulous Felix. Already been about four months since the breakup so that's some progress made. Since there was free flow of alcohol courtesy of a willing patron, Felix was only too happy to imbibe of nature's intoxicating nectar.

Which resulted in a hilarious coming home after.


More drinks!
You see, it's been a while since either Pirating Patty or I have seen someone thoroughly soused. An uncomplicated symptom easy enough to recognize - especially since Felix practically blared out his triumphant return to all our neighbours in a 2-mile radius.

Paul : What the hell was that? Are people quarrelling next door?
Patty : Well someone's yelling at the top of their lungs.
Paul : Maybe the neighbours are having a fight! Go peek at the windows.
Patty : Oh shit, I think it's Felix.
Paul : Drunk?
Patty : Oh yeah.
Paul : Heh heh.

At least Fabulous Felix admitted he was reasonably inebriated. A sociable drunk he was, the laughing perpetually, talking loudly sort.

Till the sickness came. Those horrible, horrible waves of mind-numbing seasickness that had him curling up in a ball of misery moaning for painkillers.

Felix : Oh my head! Why is the world rocking up and down!
Patty : This is so fun!
Paul : Yeah, I haven't seen a drunk in so long.
Patty : I bet he throws up.
Paul : Let's stand a few feet away then. Wanna get him a pail?
Patty : One of Kat's?
Felix : Why are you guys talking so loudly!

Poor fellow. We've all been through the post-alcoholic agonies. Being the true friends we were, Patty and I got him stripped down, cleaned and tucked into bed.

Too bad I didn't manage to steal more than a quick grope.