The Curious Case of the Unflappable Calvin

Charming Calvin remains the most placid person I know.

Though I'm sure others would phrase his imperturbable demeanour in much less complimentary terms. Nothing seems to faze the tranquil guy - not bitchy colleagues, not crazed superiors... not even inconsiderate drivers! Even having his vehicle covertly cannibalized for parts failed to elicit much of a response from Calvin apart from a confused huh.

I'd probably be spitting nails.


Good God. What else can befall me on this God-forsaken day!
So obviously trying to punk such an unflappable fellow yields less than desirable results. In fact it kinda blows.

Quite disheartening especially when I used to be a huge prankster.

But Piratin Patty and her crewmate Nutty Nana were more than willing to test out my theories - and Calvin's endless patience - by playing almost daily pranks on him.

Nana : Good morning, sir, are you Charming Calvin?
Calvin : Good morning. Yes.
Nana : Does you have a Baba Bank Credit Card?
Calvin : Yes I do.
Nana : I believe you've recently purchased an item that costs 50 thousand ringgit?
Calvin : No, I haven't. Not recently, no.
Nana : Well it has been credited into your account.
Calvin : Hmm. Guess I'll have to check on that.

Perfectly cool. Not even a single swear word.

Obviously being the unwitting victim of credit fraud doesn't faze him. So we tried several other tacks. Which failed miserably. Evidently even job retrenchment, near bankruptcy and burning apartment buildings failed to get a rise out of him. Would have tried accidental pregnancy but I doubt that would work.

None of our inventive ploys managed to shake the man.

Dammit. Wonder what kinda drugs he takes to achieve that kinda calm. Or is it the zen ironing?