Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Friends Don't Date

Like seriously?

At least that's what Slim Sandy claims. Pretty boy has been playing the dating game for quite a while now and I'm curious as to why he hasn't finished with a game, set and match as yet. Surely many have tried to tap that ass. Always thought it was a case of the Goldilocks Syndrome when it came to Sandy. Too short, too tall, too thin, too fat... you get the point.

So am I a friend?

Well after quizzing him incessantly, he finally admitted he has this peculiar theory on dates. Turns out he has Those He Calls Friends in one exclusive circle and Those He Dates in another. Neatly partitioned! Never the twain shall meet since the two circles don't overlap.

Which prompted an immediate inquiry from me.

Paul : So you have friends. And then you have those you date.
Sandy : Yes. Those who are friends are practically sistas.
Paul : And you can't date a sista.
Sandy : Yes.
Paul : So you can't date friends.
Sandy : No, I can't. It's practically incestuous! Kinda like dating a sibling!
Paul : Still not your sibling!
Sandy : Almost!

Seriously. Even if it was, what's the harm in a little bit of playful discovery amongst boys? Not like any of their intrepid homosexual attempts would sire potentially in-bred freaks. Pressed for successful examples, I tried telling him about the seductive Flowers in the Attic but Sandy wasn't buying that particular brand of incest.

But enough on the kinky brother-on-brother action.

So Sandy's decided to not date friends? Kinda odd, don't you think? I would find it difficult to date anyone I wouldn't befriend. At the rate our sociable pal's lumping all his new acquaintances into the Those He Calls Friends list, wouldn't that leave only monstrous freakenemies on the rapidly diminishing dating list? Hasn't he seen all those sentimental dramas where childhood best buds realize their hitherto clandestine attraction only at the very end?

Isn't there at least one particular friend that he shares a spark of attraction? That little sizzle that could lead to something more?

No, says Sandy vehemently. There are those you fuck with and those you don't - and he stubbornly maintains that those who are friends / sistas should remain as such. What say you?


Evann said...

Ha. So I shouldn't befriend those whom I fancy? That'll work...

Booker said...

I'm with Sandy.

I think if you fancy someone, you befriend them IN VIEW OF shagging them at the end of the day.

That's kinda different from friends who are bosom buddies whom you could hang out with sans make up and push up bra.

Booker said...

BUT having said that..... it's a lot easier said than done.

*oh the pain*

Janvier said...

He no want jiap jiap jiap friends?

Takashi said...

LOL at Janvier's!!!

Jiap jiap jiap friends.. wtf!?

lol.. i disagree.. how can u not date a friend? meaning, date a stranger?

LOl... strangers also will becone friends one mar...

Unless u mean, friends of MANY MANY YEARS... then its a different story.. yes, i wont date frens tat i know for YEARS and YEARS.. just too awkward :)

Gratitude said...

Life is so complicated these days huh?!

Liked that "jiap" thingy lolz

Alex said...

Seriously. There should be a line that we do not cross.

Little Dove said...

What is jiap? *??? over Little Dove's head*

Drew said...

I totally agree! I don't mess around with those who are close friends!

plainjoe said...

Jiap? what's that????

Ban said...

it's hard to date friends who keep teasing him about jiap jiap jiap i'm sure. :P