Get Me Bodied

Have you ever hired a prostitute?

Certainly a thought that ran through my mind during dinner with an aunt of mine. Oh yes, in between dodging red-shirted rebels, I managed to catch a meal with my honorary aunt. A Thai socialite with a dozen of more causes close to her heart - one of them being the ills of prostitution. An ancient trade unfortunately synonymous with the wild. raucous city of Bangkok. In between my aunt's jet-setting ways, it seems she actually tramps through the seedy backlanes to offer aid to these downtrodden blossoms.

Aunt : So badly treated, the poor dears. Locked up in tiny, cramped apartments for months on end by their pimps with only clients coming to visit them.
Paul : Literally chickens in a coop.
Aunt : No minimal wage as well! You can get them for as low as 5 dollars a fuck!
Paul : For that price, I'd hire her to wash my car! Hell, I'd double it. Added bonus if she does my laundry.

Though I joined in her call for the legalization of prostitution, I found myself oddly riveted by the idea that a wham-bang-thank-you-ma'am only costs that much.

Only 5 dollars.

How terribly sad.


For hire?
And yet oddly titillating - though not in the way you'd expect. Since I expected a far more exorbitant price tagged to their amatory skills, it only made me curious to know the going rate for gigolos over here. Hard not think that way after being bombarded with delicious, dark-eyed man-candy all day long. After all, it's easy enough to find a surprisingly spicy Thai hunk offering special services on the sticky classifieds of the free gay rags in town. Just dial a number for a night of wild abandon.

Or maybe just someone to do the laundry.

Though I've never actually done the deed before.

Conservative Christian upbringing aside, I've never actually had the guts to pick up the phone. Hiring randy fellows for sex is all fine by me since I'm hardly a prude. But with all the internet hoaxes and rumours about, I've always feared reprisals from the rent boys. Getting beaten up, robbed and left for dead being the least of my worries. Ever heard of nasty sexually transmitted diseases?

Only one time that I tried dialing a callboy. And even then, it was on a schoolboy dare way back with my ISO. Of course back then the stated prices seemed shockingly prohibitive for two horny, impoverished college students. After all why fork out good money when we can just wrestle in his dorm room.

Of course if it had been a reasonable price...