Thursday, April 29, 2010

Passing Hats

Passing the hat used to be something we'd see only on Sundays in church. Little anonymous box makes the rounds amongst the faithful while the parishioners keep a beady eye out for the parsimonious.

At work, turns out it's a time-honoured tradition here to have the hat being passed around. From joyous occasions such as weddings to the more sombre ones like funerals, the donation box gets handed around the department quite regularly. Almost on a weekly basis. In the spirit of charity, offerings are ceded in various denominations according to the generosity and familiarity of the benefactor.

Wholly voluntary of course.

Till now.

Now gimme all your money!

With the superintendent barely a few months away from retirement, her sycophantic subordinates here have been falling over themselves to organize the final send-off. Obviously the grander, the better in their eyes - which obviously requires significant monetary expenditure.

A pound of flesh they figure to extract from the lower-ranking employees.

Office boy : I'm collecting donations for the farewell. This is a name list for the contributors.
Paul : What the hell is stamped across the top? Waitaminute, it's compulsory for some of you to fork out cash?
Office boy : Not very much to pay.
Paul : It's not the amount I'm paying. It's the damned principle. I refuse to be forced into a donation.
Office boy : Only a dollar, sir. We're all expected to chip in.
Paul : Don't wait up for me. If it were legal, I'd rather burn my dollar and smoke it.

Nothing like a bit of compulsion to get the hat full to the brim. Obviously the forced farewell's practically a fait accompli.

Just the words 'compulsory' across the top of the list has the rebel in me seeing red. Forget plain coercion, why not bring out the damned thumbscrews? Expressly forbade my staff from participating in this particular farce - unless they feel so inclined. Don't think anyone should dole out donations if they didn't want to.

As the unsuspecting office boy was frog-marched out without much ado, he naively stammered out a final question.

Office boy : Does that mean you won't be buying a table for the farewell luncheon?


Life for Beginners said...

"Compulsory" donation? Isn't that an oxymoron? :P

William said...

Boss yang kejam! :P

cYiD said...

the last question that the office boy ask was so kawaii for some odd reason! hehehe...

compulsory? ish3...

Mikey said...

What a load of bull crap...compulsory donation?? Incredibly idiotic,moronic even. You're so right in refusing to let any of your hard earned money benefit this super's farewell party.

Good luck to the kaki ampu's who are doing such a good job in kissing derriere. :P

Alexander Ho said...

Oh, Hi....
I am new to this blog, one of my friend introduces me to here, I wish I can learn more about English writing here.....I will try my best to read your blog articles, keep it up!


the happy go lucky one said...

wowww a table of luncheon? *rolleyes*

Janvier said...

Good luck, Alex Ho.

Paul marahz! We're with you on this, if we saw 'compulsory' written on it but it was mentioned as a voluntary contribution, we'd pass it on too.

*ADRIAN* said...



it happen in my office as well~ hate it !!!

quicksilverlining said...

you can always leave a donation of, erm, chocolate, gold.

that's right. chocolate. haha.

savante said...

Totally pissed! That's why I forbade my doctors from giving. Unless they wanted to of course. So much for voluntary.