Saturday, February 27, 2010

Recipe For Instant Power

Guess what? in my Megalomania class today, I finally learned the age-old Recipe for Instant Power ( with proven results! ). Or what we call shortcut to World Dominance. Simple enough, really.


Recipe for Instant Power
Just add one megalomaniacal monster.


A Bag of Disenfranchised Souls
A Handful of Hooligans - preferably with low IQ
One Religion - with holy text heavily subverted
Megalomaniacal Monster with a pinch of Charisma

Unfortunately you can't just run out to the store and purchase a Bag of Disenfranchised. Gotta look for them in the mean streets. For the best results, find the Disenfranchised most easily converted to the cause. Gently drizzle the Megalomaniacal Monster into the bag of Disenfranchised. Add the pinch of Charisma in just before you mix the entire potent blend together.

Then toss in the one Religion after heavily subverting their holy text. Religion is always good but there are always some who'd prefer to subvert it to their own perverse tastes. Almost impossible to argue with the Word of God after all.

A disbelieving skeptic converted after just one bite!

Of course just before the mix hardens, the handful of Hooligans ( preferably with less IQ than brawn since the IQ just messes things up ) get tossed in randomly. Folded well into the Bag of Disenfranchised, just note the terrifying bubbles of trouble they make in the brew.

Shake well for instant mayhem.


Supposedly an almost perfect recipe for disaster. According to my teachers, this particular recipe received raved reviews even a millenia ago in ancient Alexandria! Just watch the visually imposing epic Agora for some hands-on tips. Secular humanists personified by the ill-fated scientist Hypatia get crushed when religious fundamentalists gain power. Since then potentates, tyrants and despots the world over have continued using this proven brand of wickedness repeatedly.

In fact I believe there are some wily folks out there in the country who have already learned this explosive secret.

Simple enough recipe for any wannabe megalomaniac to use.

So who wants to rule the world?


Mikey said...

Where's the (huge) dollop of self-centred/deluded ego? No tyrant ever made it up the ladder of power without a huge dose of ego :P

In any case, the hooligans and the monster are just bullies and deserve to be treated the way retards are. All of this idiocy over a small thing. They can take it and shove it up where the sun doesn't shine.

Time perhaps to make arrangements for the journey to someplace more tolerant or with less bird-brained homo-sapiens? Oh wait, the latter category is in excess everywhere throughout the world :P

Alex said...

There's no need for "heavily subverting their holy text"; the holy texts already contain the seeds of intolerance, misogyny, bigotry, zealotry, fanaticism, vindictiveness. One just need to cherry-pick these and put them as a nice justification for killing voices and ideas that are contrary to the said religion.

Anyhow, looks like nice movie. Gonna watch it!

conan_cat said...

i'll wait for you to create an utopia for men and men only.