Since I'd been given an earlier rejection, getting accepted into the course itself was a last-minute shocker itself - but that certainly didn't prepare me for the horrible changes in my life. As most of you would know, taking up exams as a full-time student is already stressful enough - so imagine if you can, putting in a full grueling day at work and still having to hit the books at night while balancing some hopeless semblance of a social life. Something certainly has to give and since I'm not all that dedicated a student, I certainly haven't been cracking the textbooks as much as I should lately. Desperate late-night muggings have become a damned chore to me and I practically have to drag myself to the study table every once so often just to catch up.The fact that I'm suddenly not terribly sure this is the career path I should take is even more jarring. Do I have the dedication and perseverance that it needs to finish this particular rat-race? Ask me that years back in medical school and I'd have answered with a zealous yes. Right now, I'm not too sure. Starting work and earning your own way lulls a person into lazy complacency and it's just not as easy picking up the threads of a student's life again.
Privy to some of my recent whines, My ISO asked me what I wanted in my life and it started me thinking.
Priorities in life? Somehow my career has never been at the top of my list. It has always been my family, then my loved ones ( still an empty spot obviously especially with recent developments :P ) and then perhaps my career. Unlike most of my ambitious high-achieving peers like the inimitable Shameless Shalom, aiming for that top position in my area of work has never been one of my goals. I'm a regular fella with simple needs. Good husband. Nice home. Serviceable car. A trip once a year. Sigh. Well, three out of four is alright. Certainly no need to have bling bling Tiffany cufflinks or Prada leather bags like some I could name. :)
Uncharacteristically grim thoughts as I stand at the crossroads.
God, I think I need a drink.
27 comments:
hey...u've made it this far...i'm sure u can go further...don't lose hope...u'll do alright...
(besides...if u don't do well...then i'll know i won't b able to do well too...so buck up!...lol)
Many times when I failed to hit my milestones for my thesis, I depressed but I always convinced myself that I am not a loser and I am here to complete the mission. I know my hard works will be repayed one day. And I believe you can do it better than I am. Your family will be so proud of your achievement one day!
This is probably not a good time to make life changing decisions for you with all that has happened. Stick to the path as previously planned and keep busy with it. Big hug from me to you!
if you ask me, might as well just continue what you're doing, since you have no ideas inclining to anything else. if anything, you're more or less vaguely sure about possible outcomes for this course of action, as compared to total randomness on the other side of the coin.
hmm, randomness DOES sound like a lot of fun, though.
Best to continue what you're doing and not end up being in a randomness situation. No point searching for something that is not there yet (love! :-)) ...Just hope like hell that during this journey, you'll find the right kind of love. Not that I can speak from experience but it does help somehow. Being a homo can be a challenge during this journey. So take care!
Yeah believe in urself ok? It might be a good turn for u n of course being accepted n have the chance to further is good.. some changes in life is always good for everyone..
Just do it, doc!
It's difficult to stop working and become full time student... I'm one lazy master student... but I guess, just do it.... how long could it take?
You can, man!
You'll be fine, k :) Don't worry too much. I should be giving advice to myself too!
THanks, Patrick, for that vote of confidence.
You could be right, sue. Will think about it after the exams.
Idiot and Ian, a little scary thinking of randomness.
I am furthering my course at the moment.. just having some odd jitters, ceusm.
Paul
Unfortunately, alex, we can't stop work to only study. Required to continue work while we study which sucks.
Paul
*hugs*
it'll all be good fella. Sorry for BBB's pronouncement, but I feel that it's at least good now that you are clear of what his intention is and perhaps leave you a free man to go fishing in the sea of men again.
Btw, I loved Practical Magic. Had to finish reading all four eps in one night!
Study? Professional paper? For someone like you, i'm sure it'll be a breeze. G'luck ma man!
What's wrong with Prada? They are fantabulous. I am sorry but I cannot give them up :-P
I guess, from the late 20s to the early 30s, people tend to think things about their lives hard just like yourself. I've been there. some questions you come up with may be rhetorical but it's a good time. However, I am sorry that you have to work hard and study at the same time. I wish you good luck!
*huggies*
So that's why you kept saying "Exams?! Don't remind me." Huhuhu. Now now. You can do it man. All the best. :P
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life, starts with goodbye.
At a crossroad... There's a choice we've gotta make. To get to other side. Bittersweet.
Good Luck Doc. I HATE HATE HATE EXAMS...
Thanks, ash. Glad you liked Practical Magic :)
Was an example, shigeki! Wouldn't you give up your Pradas for a happy home?
defiant and joshua, yeah, I hate hate hate exams too.
Paul
simplicity is still the best... with a dash of rainbow bits.
paul,
finish up _then_ think about what to do. and dear, nobody likes exam. i am so thankful i no longer have to take exam!
and screw BBB.him and his stupid pronouncement!
(you can tell that i'm actually disappointed that you and BBB don't come to that fairytale ending i always imagine)
I love exam, as it's the only time that I did not have to attend boring lectures. Just finish off the paper and go shopping for the rest of the day.
Paul, you know, You can still have me....I am always here for you...in your life......be there to love you....... *swoons*
Thanks. agc_disu.
Asmadi, don't hate poor BBB. CErtainly wasn' this fault :)
Well, if I had you, shine, my friend would kill me.
Paul
i'll have a drink with you!
Huh, who is your friend ah?
After all the exams I've been through ( four exams in a semester of 6 months) for four years, I am now immune to exam fears. We used to go to movies after the days paper before we start studying for the next day's paper. It really helps. Good luck. By the way, when is your exam. I am worried that you might not be able to blog during exams ;)
keep focused - wishing you all the best bro!
i sometimes wonder if medicine is a track i really want to pursue...
i just realized this...you are one zodiac cycle older than me.
Missed a lot of you lately since the incident at home. I am saddened over his pronouncement (see, I couldn't even mention his name). *hugs*
On your priorities, just follow your heart, loosen up if you may, and stay true to your feelings. Everything should be alright, Paul.
Hugs, Paul!! After just finishing admittedly crappy exams, I know it's hard to study. But you gotta do it!! In the long run, it'll be totally worth it.
And you *know* what myself and Brat Features say about the ISO. Tsk tsk!!
*hugs*
luv rox
Gimme a ring then, canard.
You've got to guess, shine. Not gonna tell ya.
No worries, I might get stressed for exams but that doesn't mean life just stops :)
Thanks, matthew!
clive, my complaints certainly doesn't mean I love medicine any less :) It means I love exams much less.
No problem, Mark. Your problems actually make mine seem pretty small in comparison :) No worries, sweetie.
Thanks, chas. Will keep that in mind.
GASP! What do you and Brat features say about ISO?
Paul
what exam r u sitting for?
btw, stay away fr me blog, its so dead...will update soon
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