Quite a day for quiet contemplation for me today. I actually just read through an interesting blog by 'dL - he has got to get a better name, that's for sure. :) A really new blog actually but it has made me think of the first time I came out to myself. I think most gay men my age go through their teenage years battling the same insecurities and fears, and hiding from the ridicule of their peers - much as I did myself. Being gay, hell, being anything out of the norm in your teenage years is something incredibly unsettling and it's a really terrible feeling thinking you're alone with all these new, alien feelings. Suddenly turning to look at your sweaty, disgusting mates - and realizing that some of them have turned into incredibly attractive male specimens despite the fact that they're totally oblivious to it - and to the benefits of personal hygiene. :)
We're expected to have the perfect 9 to 5 job, the perfect suburban house with picket fences, the lovely blushing bride and the prerequisite 2.5 kids. It's an expectation that has been drilled into us since we're kids playing house with each other. Sounds preachy but it takes some strength of will and a lot of balls to debunk all those long-cherished myths, to toss all those dreams and expectations in the face of our family and friends, and to make a dream of our own. When you're a teenage kid battling zits, mountains of homework and the dreaded ever-rising testosterone, it sounds like a monumental task.
Even now, I'm not sure how I managed to do all that. Things change but it doesn't mean totally throwing away every cherished dream. Sure, now I have the job and the house. I do want the kids but the lovely blushing bride had better come with big arms and a hairy chest.
6 comments:
Thanks Paul :-)
< goes off trying to get the picture of that Bride-from-Hell out of his mind >
Hi, as you can see, I've changed my name, all thanks to you.(I love playing the guilt trip game) Nah...I guess the anonimity thing got way out of hand but since you guys are going to find something out about me anyway, I guess it doesn't matter. Yes...all those battles I'm fighting right now, I hope that I'll be as proud to get out of university, alive, happy and as satisfied as you did...until then...there's a stack of work I have to catch up on :( btw, I have been an avid reader of your stories for the past 6 months now, and then I realised you had a blog...keep writing!!! (pressure...pressure...pressure)
I finally got a moment to get caught up and I'm reminded of how grateful I am to have grown up in such a loving and supportive environment.
To everyone who was not so lucky, I admire your fortitude and grace. My money's on you. :)
Okay, I am blushing here. Thanks for the bouquets. CK, I agree though. I might have changed the dream somewhat adding a man to the mix but I'm not throwing everything away. :)
Paul
Learning about healthy skin has been a passion of mine. It's always good to see other sites interested in the same thing. One site I found helpful is healthy skin They don't cover all of the subject, but cover quit a bit. Thanks for providing such good information for all to enjoy. From all of us here in New York, have a great year.
Hi savante,
Do you really have a thing for hairy chests? Just asking since it seems to be a recurring theme..... lol....
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