Ministry of Misinformation

Recently in another ludicrous episode of our government's increasingly dysfunctional bureaucracy, our Ministry of Information - or as I call it the Ministry of Censorship, Half-Truths and Misinformation - published a shockingly homophobic directive requiring local radio and television stations to effectively remove all programmes that portray characters such as ‘pondans’ (transsexuals), effeminate men as well as characters that are in conflict with social and religious norms because they can be said to be contributing to the alarming increase of the homosexual problems in the country.

Let's not talk about how incensed I was to hear such blatant homophobic bilge. And this coming right on the heels of an absurd plan to construct a gay rehabilitation camp.


Seriously I don't get nearly enough credit for not becoming a raging violent psychopath - especially after reading the wildly improbable headlines in our papers. In order to avoid due attention being given to the rampant corruption in the country, the government-controlled media has tried to shift the focus towards a more convenient scapegoat; namely the unsurprisingly vulnerable LGBT community.

After all it's easy enough to stone the helpless gays. Since we all know cowards rarely target tougher fellows.

But really, why even stop at only removing the media programs depicting gay, lesbian or transgender characters especially if it's shown in a positive manner? Why stop there? Why not expunge each and every media segment that has the slightest whiff of homosexuality about it? As long as anyone gay is even involved in the making, no matter how peripheral their role may be, the segment should be eliminated with lots of prejudice.


Remove all gay men from the entertainment industry? You gotta be kidding.
Oh yes, a laughable thought.

Since yes, you'd end up with the terrifying blank screen of death both on television and radio. Sure it might be embarassingly stereotypical for the gay boys but that doesn't make it any less true. Let's not lie, pretty fairies do actually gravitate towards the dazzling limelight, whether it's the big or the small screen. Or even the radio. Let's not forget everyone else creatively involved backstage such as the directors, cameramen, hairstylists, make-up artists, decorators etc. Just let the fabulous gays sashay away one fine disco night and the bright neon lights of the entertainment world would suddenly go dim.

Heck, it wouldn't surprise me to find a few hidden deep in the darkened closets of the Ministry itself!