Saturday, May 28, 2011

Farmer John

In the 1800s a dashing English explorer bravely sailed upriver in a gunboat to found his own kingdom in the inhospitable jungles of Borneo.

And now - almost two hundred years later - following in his footsteps, an Englishman seeks to do very much the same. Though perhaps with very much less vaunted ambition. Hence he comes only with an ardent desire to set up a measly 10-acre plot of land to call his own.

Master of all he surveys?

The endless drudgery of a dull 9-to5 job caused him to literally snap. Seeking to free himself from the inevitable pressures of the urban rat race, Farmer John has packed all his belongings into a simple satchel to hitchhike around the interiors of Sarawak. All in the hopes of finding his Shangri-la in the lush, verdant hinterland.

Paul : All your worldly belongings can fit in one bag.
John : Yes they can.
Paul : I don't know whether to weep or applaud!
John : Celebrate the simple life! Take yourself off the grid.
Paul : Living in a hut by the jungle.
John : It won't even be a hut. Actually just a platform.
Paul : I think I had a vivid nightmare like this once.

Yes. Getting back to nature means building a raised platform ( to avoid the creepy-crawlies and the occasional wild boar ) in the middle of the jungle with only a tarp to keep away the torrential rains. Eschewing the material consumerism - that is literally my reason for living, John's survivalist nature pushes him to live off the grid on a self-sustaining farm.

Hence the need to grow potatoes, watermelon and carrots. Perhaps a large leafy tree to sustain his hammock. And before that he needs to clear the land. Without any machines. With an axe and a hoe. Think Frontierville.

John : You should try it! The world's economy won't be able to sustain for long!
Paul : Are you predicting an end-of-the-world scenario?
John : Yes, you can move to my farm.
Paul : After two days, I'd run amok killing everyone with an axe.
John : Will keep the sharp implements away from you.
Paul : You weren't satisfied with just point-and-clicking on Frontierville?

Two days in the frontier? I'd probably go stir-crazy after a few hours in the farm. I didn't even know eggplants grew on a vine till six months back.


Mr.D said...

I wouldn't mind trying it. Life is so much better without the crowd.

Ban said...

stop taking in those crazies!

East-West said...

And I have my little space in Kuching :-)

Mark said...

I am so glad you are still blogging :)

savante said...

Still think I'd go crazy after a month, D :)

This one was quite nice actually, ban. Come meet him!

I'm sure you'll bump into the farmer one of these days, east-west.

Glad you're still reading, mark!