Repent Or Die

Obviously that's what gay men have to do to make it big in our local cinemas.

According to the latest reports by our wildly unprogressive national censorship board, it's finally perfectly alright to portray a fabulous gay men only if he either repents or dies. Pretty grim choices.

"We are now allowed to show these scenes. As long as we portray good triumphing over evil and there is a lesson learnt in the film, such as from a gay (character) who turns into a (straight) man."

What a pathetic concession!

Obviously our moral police are still desperately hanging on to the concept that sexuality is a choice. Either seek repentance or face retribution. What they don't know is the choice ( if that's even a choice! ) is clear for some flaming faggots! Turning straight would certainly be the death of us.


Repent or die? Eh, can I at least fuck him first?
Repent & die so to speak.

Fortunately most gay-themed movies are already heartbreakingly tragic with the leading protagonists usually suffering a miserable end - so I figure these would theoretically make it through the censors. With the prerequisite sex scenes liberally hacked away by our scissor-happy censors of course.

Of course with every inane rule created, there's always a loophole left somewhere.

After all gay men are generally stereotyped as creative, imaginative sorts! I'm sure if we all put our heads together, we can find a way to circumvent this particularly idiotic precept! Perhaps an adaptation of Sodom & Gomorrah before the flooding? Maybe have a wildly pornographic homosexual orgy which ends with the Biblical cataclysm? Or Atlantis submerging? Or the Titanic sinking?

At least the word gay isn't taboo anymore. Still considered evil but hey, we gotta celebrate the little victories.